ADVICE Q: My co-worker is cheating on his wife with a woman who works at our company. They’re on separate teams with different projects, so management won’t care. I walked in on them in a supply closet so I’m absolutely certain about the affair, but it would be my word against theirs.
They’re not stupid, so it’s unlikely they’re using company email for communicating. I feel complicit for not telling his wife about this. I’ve met her twice, once at a happy hour and another time when she dropped by the office and joined us for coffee.
I can’t pretend she’s a stranger, but we’re not close enough that I know what’s going on inside their marriage. They have a small child and are trying for a second. I want to help this woman, but not at the cost of my job.
If I inform her anonymously, she’ll brush me off as some troll, and he’ll immediately know it was me because I don’t think anyone else knows about this. I don’t care if he knows it was me, but how do I do this without getting in trouble with HR for creating a hostile work environment? A: Are you sure you’d be helping the wife by telling her what you witnessed?.
