THE TRIP: The Ixian Grand offers ultimate peace of mind: all inclusive and adults-only. That means no unexpected holiday overspending and no screaming kids by the pool. We stayed in one of the swim-up suites, meaning our room had its own terrace onto an infinity pool, shared with the other suites, and a beachfront view.
This was the crowning jewel of our stay. The room itself was spacious, if a little dated, but really who cares about the cushion covers when you’ve got a front row seat to the Aegean Sea? Rhodes itself is famed in Greek mythology as the island of sun god Helios, so it’s no wonder it has long captured the vitamin D-craving, rain-sodden hearts of the British. Float along and admire the views of Turkey in the distance, which looks close enough you can imagine swimming over and maybe bumping into Odysseus.
And the good news is the sea is still bathtub-warm in September and October, with fewer crowds now the kids are back to school. The Ixian Grand is one of a cohort of superb beachfront properties on the island; for something more labyrinthine, try the Amada Colossos with its frankly overwhelming 16 restaurants and bars . THINGS TO DO: Gotcha: one must not do at the Ixian Grand, that would be close to a sin.
With a spa, four restaurants, a private beachfront and even an in-hotel minimart all on site, five-star resort the Ixian Grand is designed not to be left. Embodying the epitome of fly and flop, our advice is to lean into the slumberous mood built into this sun-drenched island. Aim for a step count of no more than 2,000 – this should be enough to ferry your days-worth of cocktails from poolside bar to beachside lounger.
If you have any left over, consider sauntering over to the spa; the full body Cretan massage made me feel as good as if I was on a Greek island with endless cocktails and all-day sunshine – oh wait. That being said, the city of Rhodes, where even the ‘new town’ dates back to 1522, really is beautiful and worth a visit if you must exert yourself. The old town is one of the best preserved mediaeval towns in Europe and, combined with the minarets and other Ottoman influences of the new town, makes for a rich architectural history.
While in the town, you can also visit Elli beach nearby, home to a trampoline diving board which is popular with locals, if not myself – naturally, trampoline diving was illegal under my idleness regime. A word of advice though, get a cab. We decided to walk to the town from the hotel, thinking it would be a beautiful hour’s amble along the coast.
We were fools. It is beautiful, but the walk is closer to two hours, which, under 37 degree heat, was far more exertion than we had factored in. FOOD AND DRINK: You won’t go hungry, though, with an all-inclusive offering, it’s definitely a matter of quantity over quality.
The main restaurant, Vis a Vis, offers the kind of buffet fare standard for this kind of resort: pizza, pasta, a few Greek dishes and a lot of feta; it is what it is, no complaints from me personally. You can also visit the hotel’s other on-site restaurants, though depending on your package this will come at an extra fee. We had a much better time joining the hoi polloi at the hotel’s main restaurants, which are more spacious and buzzier.
Rooms at the I xian Grand cost from £116 per room per night Read more: The Amalfi Coast is at its best in October – here’s why.
