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Adultery has been around for as long as marriage, but the effects can be devastating and unpredictable. A relationship counsellor explains how affairs happen, and how couples can face the fall out. In reality, the number of people who have committed adultery is probably higher than the one in five people who admit to it.
It’s one of the most common reasons couples attend therapy sessions, formerly known as marriage guidance. Affairs begin for all sorts of reasons, and they may not even be out in the open when a couple attends a meeting, but then one person will admit it in an individual session. Sometimes the fling has fizzled out and sometimes it’s still ongoing.
Normally, I can tell within minutes of meeting couples whether they’re likely to patch things. Relate isn’t in the business of trying to make couples for the sake of it. If one person no longer wants to be in the marriage it would be wrong to try to convince them otherwise.
Often our work is about helping them separate well. Why affairs are so common.