Dear Eva I have a tendency to say yes to everything, whether it’s a friend asking me to look after their dog again or my boss asking me to stay late. I am already dreading this whole festive season, as I’m nowhere near as wealthy as many of my friends, but know I’ll have to go for lots of fancy drinks and dinners, as well as some expensive New Year celebrations. I am feeling overwhelmed and disappointed in myself.
Love, Tash Got a question for Eva? Drop her an email, here: AskEva @ condenast . co . uk.
Dear Tash, I’m going to give you a brief masterclass in how to say no. The first step I think would be to literally practise the word. Let it roll around your mouth like a nice cooling mint: no.
Concise, defiant, confident, no. Go for it. Say it in the mirror, say it to the cat, say it to the stranger who keeps calling your phone and asking if you want to change internet providers.
No! It has majesty, it has power. Two perfect letters that combine to open up a whole afternoon. And once you’ve established the intent, you can expand the word with tact and eloquence to fit almost any eventuality.
For instance: when your friend asks you to look after their dog again, they’re presumably doing so because you said yes the first time, and the second time, and they have come to see you as Tash the dog-sitting person. Yes, maybe you like looking after the dog, and maybe you do happen to be free, but it’s the assumption that prickles. Perhaps this brings up odd feelings – .