Every night, inhabitants of the city that never sleeps are kept awake by everything from the sounds of slammed front doors reverberating down hallways to insomniac oboists who could use a few more lessons (ideally during the day). But what, exactly, are N.Y.
C. residents doing while the rest of the world is sleeping soundly? The Aspiring TV Writer She is working on a musical, hour-long dramedy titled “The Neville Wears Prada”—which casts Neville Longbottom as a wide-eyed fashion assistant looking to impress his witch of an editor boss—that she claims will be a larger cultural sensation than “Hamilton” and earn her an Emmy that she will proudly display next to her bar-trivia trophy (a history degree has to be used for something, right?). The Aspiring TV Writer also spends an inordinate amount of time thinking about the Snapple cap she threw out before reading the fun fact.
What if the fact could have inspired a long-running syndicated sitcom? The Finance Bro After he finishes work at 2 A.M. , he is too wired—from a potent mixture of caffeine and Excel functions—to go straight to sleep.
He lies awake wondering if his Tinder date didn’t text him back because he did an impression of a mime during sex, or if it was because she realized that his third cousin is not, in fact, friends with Travis Kelce. Over the weekend, he purchased a pizza (no expense accounts on the weekends—boo!) and left it out on the living-room floor. But food waste is wrong, so he’ll get .
