A Portland, Victoria, man who stars in a movie that is taking the world by storm has bravely shared his battle with addiction and poor mental health. or signup to continue reading Jackson Tozer, who is part of the cast of which stars John Cena and Zac Efron, was a guest on podcast Mr Tozer, 32, spoke about losing his best friend Kiah Finlayson when he was just 20-years-old. She died from complications of diabetes at age 19.
Mr Tozer spoke about the shock and overwhelming grief when he learnt his best friend, who was away at university, had died. "I was working at a phone shop in Portland and I saw people on the street crying and I thought 'geez who died'." Sadly, a phone call moments later would reveal it was his friend, who he had met at school camp in year seven.
"I remember being confused and thinking 'that can't happen, it's impossible, she's only 19," he said. "I remember falling to the ground. I was keeled over in the middle of the shop floor just wailing.
" Mr Tozer said he credited his late friend with spurring him on to pursue a career in acting. He moved to Geelong a week after her funeral in the hopes of achieving his dream. However, Mr Tozer admits he didn't deal with the grief and when he moved he was introduced to marijuana.
"I very quickly started to abuse it and use it as my coping mechanism," he said. "I got heavily addicted to it." Mr Tozer said marijuana helped numb the pain.
"It would numb me, but the issue with numbing yourself is that those issues don't go away," he said. "You still need to address them." Mr Tozer likened using marijuana to stuffing items in cupboards to hide them if a guest was coming to your home.
"I was doing that, I was jamming all this crap into a cupboard and eventually that door is going to burst open." Mr Tozer said his mental health began to suffer. "I feel like during the peak of my addiction that I was a passenger in the vehicle of my life and I'm sitting here watching a drunk driver take the wheel and just take me down the wrong roads and change pace constantly, knowing at any point we could just crash and die and I can't do a thing about it.
" Mr Tozer said he began to put on weight because he was binge eating food. He developed an eating disorder and said he felt great shame. Mr Tozer said at one point he contemplated taking his own life.
However, he vowed to make his late friend proud and admitted he had a problem. "I kicked that a**hole out of the front seat. He's still in the car but I'm driving.
" Mr Tozer said once he admitted he had a problem he sought help and through therapy he has been able to implement other coping measures. He was also diagnosed with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) last year. Mr Tozer said he still experienced tough times but he knew the power of being vulnerable and reaching out to family and friends.
"I think as men, in particular, we're trained almost not to show that vulnerability but being vulnerable saved my life." Mr Tozer said he dearly missed his best friend. "I had never met anyone like her - she was a great person and she got my sense of humour," he said.
Mr Tozer said she shared his story in the hope it would help others. "I felt if I could tell my story publicly and show others that vulnerability is a strength and not a weakness then hopefully it can encourage others to get the help they need," he said. Mr Tozer said he had been overwhelmed by the response.
"It's been an unbelievable response - far greater than anything I could expect," he said. "I've had hundreds of messages from people I've never met who are now making a positive change in their life." I'm a journalist with more than 15 years experience.
I currently work at The Standard in Warrnambool. If you have anything to add to this story please contact me at [email protected].
au I'm a journalist with more than 15 years experience. I currently work at The Standard in Warrnambool. If you have anything to add to this story please contact me at mpatterson@warrnamboolstandard.
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