They only go as fast as a milk float: Seven things gammons firmly believe about EVs 28th November 2024 CONSUMERS are rejecting electric cars for a variety of reasons, but it’s great news for right-wing blokes who’ve always hated these effeminate vehicles. Here Roy Hobbs explains why you shouldn’t buy one. They’re boring, not iconic EVs are chunky and boring, because they’re aimed at women and drippy Guardian readers.
Can you imagine Steve McQueen trundling along in one in Bullitt instead of a Ford Mustang? He’d probably be sipping an avocado latte on his way to transgender surgery. God, these woke bastards have to ruin everything, don’t they? They only go as fast as milk floats The top speed of any EV is 5mph, maybe 15 if you floor it. I’m basing this on milk floats, which are an entirely different type of vehicle from my childhood in the 70s.
I’m not allowing for advances in technology, but most of what gammons believe is outdated prejudices. That’s why I still find jokes about Italian tanks having one forward gear and five reverse gears hilarious. They lower your testosterone levels Petrol cars are intrinsically masculine.
They’ve got a big powerful engine throbbing away, which is similar to having a large penis, and you can satisfy your evolutionary need to dominate other males by overtaking them. So it stands to reason puny EVs with their quiet little nancy boy engines make you less manly. Sure, there isn’t any research proving this, but that’s b.
