There’s no such thing as perfect parenting. That’s the big-sigh-of-relief viewpoint of Becky Kennedy, aka Dr. Becky—who considers herself “a clinical psychologist turned disruptor in the parenting support space,” she tells Fortune.
There is effective parenting, however. “And the key to effective parenting ..
. is what I call sturdy leadership,” she says. Her model of sturdy leadership, as taught through her coaching company Good Inside , is all about helping parents understand their role and their kid, and how to then help their kids build the skills they need in life.
“Not only to improve behavior, but to actually be fully functioning, successful adults,” says the mom to kids 7, 10, and 13. A huge element of this type of parenting is setting your child up for a resilient, confident, successful future, stresses Kennedy. And you do that by “optimizing for your child’s long-term resilience,” she says.
Here, Kennedy explains how to keep up this approach in the day to day of parenting. Pick your battles wisely “There are moments when I optimize for my kids’ short-term happiness,” Kennedy admits. “I’m a human and sometimes I’m like, ‘You know what? Fine, have the ice cream for breakfast.
’” But for some percentage of the time, she stresses, parents need to be “long-term greedy,” meaning it’s important to keep in mind your kids’ future—and that they’ll likely be living away from you for more years than they’ll be with you. “I .
