Tayla Henderson had a big, bold and beautiful personality. / (min cost $ 0 ) or signup to continue reading She was kind, compassionate, humorous and cared enormously about those around her. Tayla and Sofia Heszterenyiova got along like a house on fire from the very second they met - in a hospital in Wollongong where they were seeking help as they struggled through separate mental health crises.
The best friends became each other's family, listing one another as the next of kin. They created a bucket list set to make the most of life's offerings, from going on a cruise together to sky-diving in a bid to face their mutual fear of height. Their mutual love for sunflowers was just one of the many things they shared, along with their secrets and feelings, good, bad and ugly.
Suicide was no stranger to either of them - they both had to fight to keep going. Then, on January 19, Sofia received a goodbye video that would change her life undoubtedly. The beautiful, bubbly, larger-than-life Tayla had made that fateful decision to take her own life.
It is not the first loved one Sofia, just 26, has lost a loved one to suicide, nor is it the first goodbye she has received from a friend in distress. "I've lost a lot of people to suicide, 10 people all up, and most recently my best friend who was the closest person I had in my life," Sofia said. "She was more my family then my actual family and we were both struggling.
I have personal experiences and on this particular night, on January 19, she sent me a goodbye video. "I called for help too late, and I've had to do that multiple times for different friends in the past." It never gets easier hearing your friend or loved one's final plea for help.
"That destroyed my life and I miss Tayla every single day," Sofia said. "I don't think I'll ever fully recover from that loss." Sofia's home is now a memorial for Tayla and her nine other friends, their pictures plastered over her walls and sunflowers beaming in every direction.
Their memories live on through her as she strives to make a change where she can. On September 10, World Suicide Prevention Day, Sofia will take part in Out of the Shadows, an event by Lifeline in which participants walk in honour of the lives lost every day. Lifeline put on more counsellors, with calls to the crisis centre increasing constantly.
"I just want to make a difference in any way that I can and I know Lifeline gets a call every 29 seconds from people who are in crisis," Sofia said. "Sometimes the wait time to connect to a counsellor is over an hour, so by raising money hopefully we can get more counsellors available so people can get through quicker and don't miss that crisis support. "I just wanted to do anything that I could.
" Helping people is now Sofia's biggest motivator and something she takes in her stride. "I've studied a certificate four in mental health and I am now a third-year student paramedic," she said. "My main reason to go into paramedicine is to specifically help people in a mental health crisis because often their is that stigma from mental health professionals, I want to be able to go in and help people and be compassionate and empathetic.
"My studies to become a paramedic is my main motivator right now - to help other people who are struggling. We do live in a very broken world unfortunately so I do want to make a difference where I can." Sofia also wanted to address what she said is a lack of adequate mental health support.
"People who are struggling and the people I've lost to suicide were wanting help and were reaching out for help and the help is just not there, or they're not given the help," she said. "People keep reaching out for help, which is amazing, but I find it's the services that keep letting people down. "Two of my friends presented to hospitals the day they died, asking to be admitted because they weren't safe in their own crisis and they were wanting to stay for at least the night and the hospitals said no and sent them home and they passed away.
" Compassion and a listening ear can also go a long way, according to Sofia who is encouraging residents to take a more empathetic approach to addressing their friends who reach out in distress. "Often people will say 'look on the bright side' or 'be positive, move on, suck it up,' and that's very toxic and can make people want to end their life when they are in the state so for people in the community, be compassionate and listen," she said. As Sofia and Tayla would often tell each other in times of crisis, if you're struggling 'delay'.
"Whenever we found each other in a crisis situation we would say; don't act, delay, wait an hour, wait a day, just keep delaying, and hopefully if you keep delaying your urges hopefully lessen," she said. "I know when people are at a very low point you're not thinking straight, you're not thinking about the fact that you're going to hurting. "It makes me really upset when people say suicide is selfish because when people reached that point they don't have that thinking capacity to realise how much people will be hurting.
"I've never blamed her, because I know she was doing the best she could and I also know she would take it back if she could." Lifeline Australia's Richard Shute said Lifeline received an average of 3800 contacts a day in 2024. "Tragically, over 3000 Australians lose their lives to suicide every year," he said.
"These people are our family, friends and loved ones. "Out of the Shadows brings communities together to walk to remember those we've lost to suicide, and raise funds to support our crisis support and suicide prevention services." Your story matters, your voice deserves to be heard and I would love to help you share it.
I have six years of experience as a Journalist with Australian Community Media covering an array of topics, with a key focus on breaking news and crime and a passion for people. E: taylor.dodge@austcommunitymedia.
com.au. Your story matters, your voice deserves to be heard and I would love to help you share it.
I have six years of experience as a Journalist with Australian Community Media covering an array of topics, with a key focus on breaking news and crime and a passion for people. E: taylor.dodge@austcommunitymedia.
com.au..
