One of the most depressing things about getting older is having to watch everything around you decay and turn to absolute shit — from to , , and even that were at one time a beloved staple of your halcyon childhood years. That is, before a certain cynical, soulless vampire corporation decided to feast on them, drain them of their lifeblood, and spit them back out as corpses of their former self. I’m referring, of course, to Disney’s ongoing cash grab of a remake strategy that’s seen one original masterpiece after another get recycled from an animated work of art to an inferior live-action knockoff.
Absolutely no one prefers the live-action remakes of films like The Jungle Book and The Little Mermaid over the delightful OG films, but when you’re ostensibly a creative enterprise that’s bereft of vision, you fall back on the timeless strategy employed by the bereft since the dawn of man: You flail. You spray and pray in the tried-and-true “maybe something will work, even though it hasn’t yet” fashion. I’ve written previously about the internet’s devastating critique of Disney’s upcoming remake, for which we just got a first trailer in recent days (spoiler: It looks absolutely terrible).
If you, too, have watched with horror as Disney continues to vaporize every remaining shred of dignity it has left — along with continuing to ruin like Star Wars, Marvel, and Pixar to a lesser extent — I’d urge you to read from the UK’s that dives deep into why all.
