Look at any Hollywood red carpet these days, and you’ll see them valiantly on display: men’s legs. Thighs bulging like pink cold-packed gammon; red kneecaps grinding tectonically; inky tendrils curling all the way down like cobwebs on a ghost gum. And this is just Paul Mescal’s legs I’m talking about.
Pedro Pascal has done it. And Jacob Elordi. Wicked star Jonathan Bailey, too.
In the northern hemisphere, 2024 marked the “summer of the slutty shorts”, where short-shorts became acceptable – fashionably forward, even – evening wear for grown-ass men. As someone who wears jeans to the beach, I don’t like this. As far as summer trends go, Paul Mescal’s shorts must die.
Credit: Sydney Morning Herald This is not a tirade against men’s legs. Some people like men’s legs. UFC fans, for example.
Suffragettes fought valiantly for Paul Mescal’s right to playfully unsheathe his thighs. Rather, this is a tirade in defence of aesthetics and standards. Sorry, but shorts are for kids and slobs – Adam Sandler , obviously, excepted – and you can’t convince me otherwise.
“Mate, what about the hot weather?” you’re probably thinking, as you glance down at your Hard Yakkas (or whatever) and question your life choices. Please, weather is no excuse. As if that barely perceptible summer breeze bouncing along your shins is reducing your internal body temperature.
Fan yourself with a street pamphlet, have an iced matcha: there are other ways to stay cool beyond remo.
