Dáithí It has been almost a year since Dáithí Ó Sé joined the Irish Examiner as our resident agony uncle. His ‘Dear Daithi’ column every Monday sees him answer readers’ questions on everything from Christmas with the in-laws to Junior Cert holidays. “Help,” one reader wrote, just days from the Cork Clare showdown, “my boyfriend’s GAA obsession is wearing me down.
” “Outside of this man’s GAA fetish,” Dáithí wrote back, “he really seems to have a lot going for him and as you say he ticks all the boxes: Right age; doesn’t live with his mother, and hasn’t ghosted you ...
Years ago, we would have settled for own house, own car, and own teeth.” As a self-conscious teen with a penchant for Rimmel Coffee Shimmer lipstick and blue hair mascara, magazines like J17, Kiss, Mizz and more were my bibles/burn books/manuals to puberty. I wrote into those magazines’ problem pages more than once, asking for advice on friendships, boys, and kissing.
I never did find out whether I should practice kissing with my pillow? (Spoiler alert: I did — and got no complaints). Reading Dáithí’s column, it feels a little like the problem pages — but for adults: More sound and practical, much less haughty. His advice is peppered with that West Kerry charm we’ve come to know and love.
It’s tongue-in-cheek, but always grounded, from the heart, practical, and well-meaning. The kind of soothing, yet no-nonsense life experience you might have gotten from your mammy back in the day. Few people knew that all that time — in between live TV — he was completing a postgraduate diploma in life coaching from Kingston College.
It has, he says, changed his perspective on life. “You see things from your own point of view first, but then you put yourself into the other person’s shoes — whether that’s your boss or anyone you have conflict with.” Any revelations? Well, he realised that sometimes he’s “just a bit of a pain in the hole”.
How refreshing is it to have a male perspective on issues without the faux-woke patrol ready to pounce? But wait, that’s exactly what it says on Dáithí’s tin. Fresh from his college course, he’s armed with nuggets of wisdom and he delivers them with empathy, understanding, and charm. He might drive Rita and Ógie mad with the jargon, but he feels more equipped to deal with conflict off the back of his coaching qualification.
“You realise that the person you’re in conflict with might have something going on in their life. So you soften and you don’t go into a head-on collision.” This is still the same Dáithí we’ve come to love as host of The Today Show and the Rose of Tralee .
The same, but different. “I shoot from the hip, that’s the way I’ve always done it: A straight-shooting, West Kerry, solution-based look at an issue.” Under no illusion that he’s a miracle worker, Dáithí says being a life coach doesn’t qualify him or anyone else to help someone through a mental health crisis.
He knows he’s not a counsellor, but his training has prepped him for spotting the difference. “A coach needs to recognise when it’s veering into the realm of needing professional mental health.” Will we be seeing ads for Dáithí the life coach popping up on our feeds? “I’m not quite sure what I’m going to do with it yet,” he says.
One thing is clear, it’s given him a fresh perspective and he plans to put his training into action when interviewing the Roses at this year’s Rose of Tralee festival. “I’ve always said I’m the least important person in the room in Tralee. It’s about listening and reacting to the roses.
The course reinforced for me that it’s about them. They have all the answers. I just have to ask the right questions.
” Father to 10-year-old Míchéal Óg, or Ógie as he is called, one thing Dáithí wants to emphasise in his column is that parenting is not about “helicoptering”. “You have to be there for him as a parent. It’s as simple as that.
” Indeed, a slew of parents have written to Dáithí asking for help navigating things like the ever-evolving gender identity and sexuality of their children. The key is to remain open, he says. “I don’t care whether you sleep with a man or a woman or what God you pray to.
The way I was brought up is that there’s right and there’s wrong. That’s what my column is about.” Did he do the course as a back-up in light of recent job insecurity and financial scrutiny at RTÉ? “When The Today Show ends, I’m out of contract.
Over the summer, they could change course. I don’t think they will, but they might. “We have to get permission to do other stuff.
” After over a decade of presenting the Rose of Tralee, Dáithí was slightly discombobulated when Kathryn Thomas was brought on board last year. “In the beginning, I asked the bosses: ‘Have I done something wrong?’ I said: ‘Ok, maybe they’re going to change things up.’ I suggested they replace me altogether.
” Having been friends with Kathryn for over 20 years, he decided he would embrace the change. “I said: ‘Ok, I’ll run with it. I’ll put my heart and soul into it, like I’ve always done.
” Both presenters are aware that this is a high-energy job and they have been in the gym training. Unfortunately for Dáithí, he came down on his knee and is on crutches at the time of our interview. In typical Dáithí style, he’s made it his own — pimped his cane, as it were.
“I’ve had one of my crutches spray painted black to go with the tux. Just to have it done for the TV in case I need it.” Any advice for the readers? “Wear sunscreen,” says Dáithí.
“I had a lump in my eyebrow which turned out to be basal cell carcinoma, which is a form of skin cancer. They got it all out so it’s rock and roll, but now I’m factor 50 all the way. I got a big fright.
” Kathryn There isn't much that fazes Daithi's co-host, Kathryn Thomas. From swimming with sharks to fighting off machete-wielding cannibals high on hallucinogenic nuts in Papua New Guinea, Kathryn Thomas has done her fair share of adventuring on the show she made her name on, No Frontiers. Life on life’s terms, however, has thrown some new challenges her way.
This includes struggles with fertility and an initial reluctance in taking on the job of co-host of the Rose of Tralee. She worried about stepping on Dáithí’s toes. “I was apprehensive last year,” says Kathryn, back for the second year running.
“People said it wouldn’t work, that they’d just thrown in a woman there for a bit of tokenism, blah, blah, blah. If you let that get into your head — I didn’t, but if you did — I think I’ve proven myself.” The Rose of Tralee claims to be all about empowerment, female collegiality and celebrating Irishness.
But we can’t ignore the elephant in the room. Is it twee and outdated? Kathryn doesn’t think so. And if you think it is, then turn it off, she says.
“It definitely started out as the Lovely Girls competition, and it would have been more of a pageant. It was important to me to address this on stage. If there are people who say it’s outdated, why don’t you ask the Roses why they are doing it?” Every year, the roses travel to Kerry with the hopes of winning the coveted title.
Kathryn believes those women wouldn’t be there if it was merely a beauty pageant and she went straight for the jugular, asking the contestants what they thought on claims that it’s patronising and patriarchal. The answer was resoundingly positive: “They said; ‘Why wouldn’t we [want to be involved]? It’s an opportunity to network, meet friends for life, and travel for free, to connect with our Irish community.” No doubt, Kathryn is a daredevil but does she shy away from any particular topics or is there certain things she’s told not to ask about? “Nothing that came to light last year,” she says.
“I don’t think there are any subjects you can’t talk about, unless it was something really controversial that would apply to all RTÉ programming, nothing is off limits. “Dáithí is so self-deprecating, he takes the mick out of himself but never anyone else. There’s no ego there.
He took me under his wing.” With the speculation around RTÉ’s top earners and media scrutiny, does it place a shadow on the festival? Are there more questions being asked of the presenters? “It’s not been an easy time for anybody,” says Kathryn. “The culture that we’re living in now is a very different media landscape from when I started 20-odd years ago.
I always maintain — just stay true to yourself.” The lack of diversity in the Rose of Tralee is something that was highlighted, particularly in 2018, when the first mixed-race rose from Waterford, Kirsten Mate Maher took the crown. Kirsten spoke to Shona.
ie about how she was accused of playing “the race card”. Kathryn believes that all should have the same opportunity to represent their heritage. “The Rose of Tralee embraces the Irish women who live abroad,” Kathryn says.
“You shouldn’t have to qualify where you’re from. We are a nation of people who have gone out and built the world. We can compete on the world stage.
You look at Rhashidat Adeleke and how amazing she is. We should be proud of diversity.” BLUFFING It’s almost time for Dáithí to don the tux and Kathryn to get her gúna.
They’re both buzzing. None more so than Kathryn’s husband, Pádraig who was a huge fan before she ever got involved. There will be the requisite cúpla focail, Dáithí made a vow to himself to include the words in every show he does.
He doesn’t take himself too seriously and neither should you. “I’ve been bluffing for so long I eventually bluffed my way to where I am.” Dear Dáithí, keep on bluffing.
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