At the time of writing this, it has been a tough couple of days. My little eight-month-old daughter has a cold which has resulted in a blocked nose. For adults the cold is usually a benign ailment which you get over in a couple of days with some rest and medicine but for my child it becomes a constant struggle to be able to sleep and eat.
A blocked nose makes it extremely difficult to breastfeed which is the main source of nourishment. Consequently, she cannot sleep properly because we end up sucking the snot out of her nose multiple times so that she can breathe through her nose. Parents will know that clearing up a baby’s nose is no easy task.
Imagine a giant shoving up an aspirator in your nostril for no reason as far as your understanding is concerned – you will vehemently fight back. As a father I am a total softy. My heart turns to mush every time my baby cries.
I become teary eyed multiple times a day just seeing my baby struggle from a seemingly benign cold. Nothing else matters any more. Everything I do in the present or make any plans for in the future, the baby is number one.
Friends have told me that I need to find time for myself. Do the things that I love to avoid burnout and feel better. But why? I do not want to do anything else for myself.
The joy that comes from wholeheartedly dedicating the rest of my days to my baby is unmatched with anything that I have ever done in my life. So why not do the thing that gives you the most joy? Fatherhood is the greatest gift given to me by the gods. So, the things that I do for myself also have the underlying motivation of making me a better father to my child.
I am saying ‘no’ to sugar in tea, swatting my desire to get KFC on the way back from work, and taking the stairs instead of a lift, just so that my child will have a healthy father for as long as possible. There is a new meaning to the tired phrase – ‘happy wife, happy life’. My wife is a superhero raising a child.
I am Robin to Batwoman. My job is to support her in saving the world through our child. Of course, my child is going to save the world! I understand that it is a self-centred point of view, but why should I care what anybody thinks? It is my job as a father, in conjunction with my wife, to provide a life to my child so that she is set up to save the world.
There is cause for a pause here. Am I going to pressure her like my parents to save the world? Pressure her to get straight As, to become a doctor, to have a good job? Am I going to put the weight of the world on her shoulders as it was put on mine? Nope. The fact that I have learnt the lesson of undue parental pressure gives me a glimmer of hope that I might be a good father to my baby daughter.
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