My six-year-old daughter had a few friends over for a playdate yesterday. They were in the den building a fort for their stuffed animals when I asked if anyone wanted a snack. I went into the kitchen, which is attached and open concept to the room the kids were in.
Suddenly, I heard one of them crying and a defiant “NO!” from my daughter. When I went in to see what happened, one of the other little girls said that one of the little boys had tried to kiss my daughter, she had said no, but he kept trying. So, she said no very loudly (that’s the one I heard), pushed him away and he fell down (hence the crying).
I’m proud of my daughter for standing up for herself, for knowing what she does and does not want, and for protecting herself when and if necessary. I obviously looked after the little boy, who wasn’t hurt, and apologized to my daughter without being asked. He looked up at me with teary eyes and said, “I just really like her.
” But now what? Since there were tears, I need to tell his mom what happened. That’s our unspoken mom rule. But do I talk to her about consent? Do I suggest she speak to her child about consent? I fear she may not be amenable.
Research suggests that parents should start discussing consent at the age of five, which seems on track with your daughter and her group of friends. That by no means implies that this little boy wanted to do anything more than kiss your daughter, and probably with zero sexuality; but no means no, no matter the si.
