Advice on what to do when your feelings are hurt by a grandparent’s will, how to address tricky flatshare logistics, and is it okay to give back a gift? Q. In her will, my grandmother divided her estate equally among my mother and her four adult grandchildren. But there was a separate bequest of US$13,000 ($21,000) to my mother – before the calculation of anyone else’s share – to help my younger sister with her IVF treatments.
This means that most of us are about US$3000 ($4900) worse off because of this bequest that none of us knew about. Is it reasonable to expect my sister to reimburse us for this sweetheart deal that we were not a part of? When I asked my mother and sister gently for an explanation, I got the runaround and felt that I was attacked for being confrontational. They think I should be more sensitive to my sister’s fertility issues.
But I can’t help feeling ripped off! – Granddaughter A. If your feelings are hur t by your grandmother’s will – if you think that she played favourites among her grandchildren, for instance, or that she prioritised your sister’s fertility issues above your needs – I sympathise with you. Many people see gifts as proxies for love and believe that children (and grandchildren) should be treated equally in wills – down to the last penny.
You don’t mention hurt feelings, though. Instead, you imply that your grandmother owed you an explanation for her will. (She did not.
Many lawyers recommend transparency in esta.
