An elder sibling went to check his younger brother’s results in a school and on getting back home was asked by the tension-filled child how the result went. “You failed” was the harsh response. When the elder brother was asked why he delivered the news in such a harsh manner, his reply was, “I had to say the bitter truth.
” If this youngman continues saying the truth this way, and is not properly counseled he may graduate into the class of men who will wound their wives’ feelings due to their belief that “the truth is bitter, but I must say it.” I had cause to advise a young lady who was about to get married some time ago that she was too hard in saying the truth. Another lady about to get married once said something like this: “I do not know how to pretend.
I will always say what is on my mind whether it is bitter or not.” I had to ask if she could boldly say that she had not had any immoral thoughts about another man since she got engaged to her man. I also wanted to know if she told the man she is engaged to that she had some immoral thoughts if at all she always says what is on her mind.
The manner in which the truth is dished out has caused a lot of damage to many relationships. The problem is not really about the truth being said. What makes truths to be bitter depends on the manner with which it is said.
Some spouses say their truth in a very bitter manner. The truth they are saying here is not necessarily because they want to help the other person with the truth; rather, it is because they want to unleash their frustrations, anger and bitterness on the person. Some make their truths to be bitter because their spouses have offended them.
I do not believe that the marriage and family arena is where “bitter truth” is told. It is politicians that can tell themselves bitter truth. It is enemies who are quarreling that can decide to tell themselves “the bitter truth.
” I do not think that the wife you are living with right now is your enemy. I do not also think that the husband you are living with right now is your enemy. Couples and families should not, therefore, use the quarreling skills and strategies of politicians and enemies on themselves.
We should not import the words, “the truth is bitter, but I must say it” into our courtship, marriages and families. You will discover that when your motives for telling your spouse the truth are genuine and only from the perspective of helping your spouse you will say the “truth” in love. Eph 4:15, says, “Speaking the truth in love” is how we should say the truth.
Col 4:6, says: “Your speech be always with grace ‘Seasoned With Salt.’” Instead of using the truth to attack your spouse, we are told to say it in love. Love you! You must be logged in to post a comment.
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