A few weeks before Justin Bieber and his wife, Hailey, announced in May that they were expecting, the pop icon posted a selfie where he appears tearful and distraught. While media attention quickly pivoted to the pregnancy, there was little attention paid to the significance of a male celebrity and expectant father publicly sharing his vulnerability. Yet Bieber’s social media post is notable for making his internal struggle visible.
Emotional pain is linked to serious health issues. But the public’s response to male expressions of emotion and vulnerability is often minimizing, if not dismissive. In response to Bieber’s tearful post, for example, Hailey described him as a “pretty crier.
” A year ago, the Canadian rapper Dax released the song “To Be a Man.” He said at the time: “This is a song I poured my heart into. I’m praying this reaches everyone who needs it.
” Today, the song’s message remains timely. It includes the lyrics: "Yeah, I know this life can really beat you down, uh You wanna scream but you won’t make a sound, uh Got so much weight that you’ve been holdin’ But won’t show any emotion, as a man, that goes unspoken." As researchers who study fatherhood and the roles that men play in their families, we recognize the loneliness and pain in these lyrics.
We have heard fathers describe the toll of attempting to keep a lid on their feelings. In a recent study we conducted on 75 new and expectant Black fathers, they spoke of the need to addre.
