This story is part of the July 28 edition of Sunday Life. See all 12 stories . Megan Phelps-Roper is an American political activist best known for being a former member of the Westboro Baptist Church.
Here, the 38-year-old shares her memories of her controversial grandfather, the teacher who made a difference in her life, and meeting her now-husband in an unexpected way. Megan Phelps-Roper was raised with an “us versus them” mentality. Credit: Getty Images for Glamour My maternal grandfather, Fred Phelps, was a strong man with strong opinions and the pastor of the Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas, USA.
I would sit in the church pew on Sunday mornings and hear him railing against gay people. I would also stand on picket lines doing the same thing. I loved him and have a picture of us taken when I was three – I’m sitting in his lap looking at him in awe.
I knew Gramps was a controversial figure and understood it was something he relished. From a young age, I was raised with an “us versus them” mentality. It never seemed wrong because everyone around me felt the same way.
My mom, Shirley, was close to her dad, very much Gramps’ right hand in the church. My dad, Brent, was best friends with Mom’s youngest brother, Tim. Mom is six years older than Dad.
He was a skateboarder who broke his arm skating to Tom Petty’s Refugee and would skip school to spend time with her. They got married when Dad was 20. I love my dad’s gentleness.
He worked in human resources and is incredibly emotionally intelligent. So much of what they do at Westboro is the opposite of that. I was one of the loudest voices of my generation because I took our church’s message to social media and was a zealous believer.
People would ask me why the men weren’t more prominent in our church. Dad was also a zealous believer, but it wasn’t his personality to be as outspoken. It reinforced my feeling that it doesn’t matter how much you sacrifice and invest in the church, at any point they can turn on you.
MEGAN PHELPS-ROPER I left the church in 2012, two years before my grandfather died. At first, he was softly spoken and empathetic and told me you don’t fix problems by leaving. Then his voice changed and he looked to Mom and said, “I thought we had a jewel this time.
I guess I was wrong.” I cried all the harder hearing it. A year after I left the church, my brother Zach also left.
He was the one who told me Gramps wasn’t giving sermons any more, that he was sick and in hospice care and had been voted out of the church..
