PARIS – The MVP of Team USA is Snoop Dogg, the new lord of the Olympic rings. “I’m the biggest kid in the crowd,” Snoop has declared to his adoring television audience on NBC. Not to overstate it, but the TV network’s decision to send a skinny 52-year-old rapper to emcee this five-ring circus in France is its most inspired programming idea since Kramer burst through Jerry’s apartment door on “Seinfeld.
” With all due respect to solid-gold gymnast Simone Biles and French swimming sensation Leon Marchand, these are the Snooplympics, where the biggest star is a reefer-smoking OG. No, I’m not high. But thanks for asking.
After flamboyant sprinter Noah Lyles won gold Sunday and claimed the title planet earth’s fastest human by winning the 100 meters in a dramatic photo finish over Kishane Thompson of Jamaica, I asked America’s newest Olympic hero about a pay TV opportunity: So when’s the match race at 100 meters against Snoop going to be? “Shoot, if Snoop wants to set it up,” responded Lyles, laughing, “set me up a race.” Why not? From crip-walking the Olympic torch to feeding a horse while wearing an equestrian cap and breeches, Snoop has been everywhere at the Summer Games. And wherever he goes, the Doggfather steals the show.
I’ve witnessed the power of Snoop with my own eyes. And it’s nothing short of miraculous. Moses, as you might recall, parted the Red Sea.
But Snoop can stop The Wave. Early in a tense soccer match between the U.S.
women and Japan on Saturday at the iconic Parc des Princes stadium, a murmur in a crowd of nearly 50,000 fans quickly morphed into a buzz so strong it stopped the wave rolling around the stadium dead in its tracks. What was crackalackin’ to cause all this commotion? “Look,” exclaimed a female spectator seated in front of me lept to her feet, “Snoop is here!” For the next two hours, it was Snoop that created the most electric atmosphere in the building until Trinity Rodman’s bolt-from-the-blue goal gave the USA a 1-0 victory. For decades, there has been no more simply beautiful example of Olympic sports bringing the world together than the trading of pins made in honor of teams, athletes and media organizations at the Games.
Other than gold, silver or bronze, the most valuable prize in Paris is a Snoopadelic pin, in which America’s ambassador of cannabis is depicted blowing smoke in the shape of the Olympic rings. “This is the best pin I’ve ever gotten,” gushed U.S.
tennis player Coco Gauff, lucky enough to score the invaluable commodity. On the Fourth of July way back in 1884, France gave the United States the coolest birthday gift ever: The Statue of Liberty. Well, it only took 140 years, but America has finally returned the favor properly by sending Snoop to the City of Light.
I’ve made trips to France for more than a generation, and it pains me to tell you Americans are often viewed here as too loud, too arrogant and too narrow-minded to see the world beyond our borders. That’s what makes Snoop more than Team USA’s emotional support mascot. He’s the chillest American import to France since the music of Cole Porter and the most irresistibly zany good fun since the movies of Jerry Lewis.
During a private tour of the Louvre, Snoop gleefully told his guide: “You ever seen ‘Night at the Museum?’ Well, tonight you get to go to the museum with Snoop Dogg and we’re finna be snooping around.” When he bumped into the Mona Lisa by Leonardo da Vincin hanging on the wall, Snoop revealed a family secret: “I just found out I was Mona Lisa’s twin brother, Tony Lisa.” The Snoop Effect on the Summer Games is quantifiable in ways as obvious as the miles of smiles he leaves in his wake.
Whether instigating an impromptu dance party with Biles during the gymnastics competition or taking swimming lessons from Michael Phelps, Snoop has become the Olympic ringmaster of never-ending good vibes. In the first post-COVID games, he’s exactly what the doctor ordered. Through Thursday, the broadcast platforms of NBC averaged 34 million daily viewers, up a whopping 79 percent of the Summer Games in Tokyo, which felt sterile and dispirited with no fans in the stands.
“Clearly, the Olympics are back,” Mark Lazurus, the chairman of NBC-Universal Media Group said on a recent conference call. Nothing attracts eyeballs like the glitter of gold. So U.
S. swimmer Katie Ledecky making regular trips atop the podium does make for must-see TV. But the relentlessly upbeat energy of Snoop has defined the Summer Olympics.
It’s a party! Blaze it up, y’all. Snoop is living his best life in France with no room for negativity. And, to quote the rap master himself, he keeps coming up with funky a** sh** like every single day.
“It don’t stop until the casket drops!” Snoop declared, while watching the doubles team intensely swinging their badminton racquets at a buzzing shuttlecock. For more than a century, a Frenchman named Pierre de Coubertin has been revered as the father of the modern Olympics. But who’s their daddy now? Stand up, raise your hands in the air and shout it with me: Snooooop!.
