Learning the art of letting go

THE new school term has just begun, and parents across the country have been sending off their children to schools with nervous smiles. For those with a child entering Year One, the first-day jitters were real. Will she make friends? Will she find her way to the canteen? Will she cry when I leave? Or worse, will I cry when I leave?I do not have a child starting school this year but I understand the anxiety. It is natural. You have spent years being the centre of their world, ensuring their safety, wiping their tears and celebrating their smallest victories. Now, you are expected to let them go and entrust them to teachers, new experiences and the unpredictable rhythm of life.However, here is the thing: that is exactly the point of sending them to school. It is not just for them. It is for you, too. Omar Khayyam wrote in The Rubaiyat:“Tis but a Tent where takes his one day’s rest;A Sultan to the realm of Death addrest;The Sultan rises, and the dark FerrashStrikes, and prepares it for another Guest.”This verse reminds us that life is fleeting, constantly shifting, and nothing truly belongs to us – not even the people we love. Just as a sultan must leave his tent behind, we too must learn to let go, trusting that each phase of life has its purpose.The journey of parenthood and life is one of constant letting go. We guide, we prepare, we hold their hands, but at every stage, we must loosen our grip. Not because we want to but because we have to. The act of stepping back is what allows them to step forward. And in that process, we grow too.Think about it. The first time your child took a wobbly step, you resisted the urge to hold them up the whole time. You cheered them on even as they stumbled. When they insisted on feeding themselves, you watched the mess unfold, knowing that one day, they would get it right. When they asked to ride a bike without training wheels, you let go – and watched as they found their balance.Letting go is a muscle we all must exercise, not just in parenting but in life. It is what allows us to grow into new versions of ourselves.Of course, there will be worries. The world can be unpredictable. But think about your childhood – your parents did not watch your every move (they probably did not have the luxury of WhatsApp class groups or live school updates). Yet, you figured things out. You made mistakes. You learned and in doing so became the person you are today.Sometimes, in our desire to protect, we forget that life itself is the best teacher. There are lessons that can only be learned through experience – through getting lost and finding the way back, through falling and standing up again, through failing and trying once more.This is not just about children. It is about us, too. Learning to let go is not just a parental responsibility; it is a life skill. It prepares us for the countless goodbyes we will face – some small, like the first day of school, and some much bigger. The more we practise, the more we will realise that letting go is not about loss; it is about trust. Trust in our children, trust in the journey, trust in ourselves.So, to the parents standing outside school gates, peeking through windows, checking their phones for updates – take a deep breath. You have done your part. Now, let them do theirs. Let them explore, make mistakes and find their way. Let them discover their strengths in places you cannot see because letting go is not just about them. It is about you, too.Ir Dr Nahrizul Adib Kadri is a professor of biomedical engineering and the principal of Ibnu Sina Residential College, Universiti Malaya. Comments: letters@thesundaily.com