Advice which can be quite helpful when dealing with normal people is harmful when dealing with the Dark Triad. This is because types seek control, not connection. Emotional abuse is often done in private, at a subtle level which outsiders cannot detect.
don’t go to therapy, as they think they are just fine, due to their lack of self-reflection, accountability, or empathy. If they do go, it’s usually because it is court mandated or to charm the therapist into thinking they are the victims and their true victims are crazy. Victims often seek therapy due to their distress over the deceit and cruelty.
Sadly, therapists often encourage victims to pamper, protect, pity, and even praise abusers! Their goal is: “Maintain relationships at all costs.” Many therapists are naïve and simplistic; their selling point is “Everyone can change. All problems can be fixed.
” Other therapists fear that abuse victims cannot handle the truth – i.e., that they are living with people who are incapable of truly loving anyone.
Actually, it would help if victims were validated. Instead, they are often shamed and silenced by advisers who whitewash and minimize abuse with various “spin” tactics and teaching more tolerance and brain-scrambling excuses. If Moses (Moshe Rabbeinu) had taken Korach to , it’s likely that he would be told the following: I DON’T mean to knock all therapists – only those who promote the idea that love means tolerating abuse and insanity! Those who see the truth are rare.
Therapists fear losing clients if they say the truth – i.e., some people cannot love, but they will torture you by giving bread crumbs of concern once in a while and acting charming and normal to outsiders or favored relatives.
Therapists are trained to give people HOPE DOPE, cheerfully promising that anyone can be anything. Normal people can achieve greater intimacy with others by learning good emotional intelligence and communication skills. But closeness is the very opposite of what is needed with people who are highly critical, contemptuous, or suffering from personality disorders.
In such cases, therapists should teach abuse victims to disconnect physically, if at all possible, and emotionally to whatever extent they can do so. They must focus on self-protection, self-fulfillment, and self-differentiation skills. This is what a good therapist will help them achieve.
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