David Covucci Tech is a weekly column that looks into the —outside the big few that everyone already covers—to tell you the . It runs on Thursdays in the Daily Dot’s web_crawlr newsletter. If you want to get this column a day before we publish it, , where you’ll get the daily scoop of internet culture delivered straight to your inbox.
“ ” is a common heuristic used by Christians and others to center their actions in accordance with the principles of , , and . When faced with a difficult decision or a trying relationship, can guide people. So, what would Jesus do if a bunch of scientists in the year of our Lord 2024 took his and used a new to show that it may actually be 2,000 years old? If you guessed “ ”, you, well, might think he would try a mirror first.
Or, if he did have some basic grasp of newfangled technology, take a selfie. Earlier this month, scientists (different from the well-known radiocarbon method used to peg the dinosaurs’ time on Earth) on the and found it could date back to Jesus’ time. The Shroud is a , which believers claim is the cloth Jesus was wrapped in by Joseph of Arimathea after he died, and that the was left on it at the moment of resurrection.
The Shroud has a though, only solidly appearing in historical records in the Middle Ages, at a time when the ownership of religious relics was critical to power. Radiocarbon dating done in the 1980s revealed it was likely created then. But the new assessment, testing the age of the cellulose in the linen, helped revive of our time: ? Yes, like , , and , the Shroud of Turin is getting optimized with help from .
The original offending culprit was the website the Daily Express, which used MidJourney . And because our is no longer able to process literally any singular thing with a “neat, cool” and move on— —the interpretation of Jesus . Some were .
“I understand the image is an AI creation ...
However, I am having a difficult looking into His eyes! Forgive me, Lord, please,” one Gettr user. It’s whether he was apologizing for looking or being unable to look at him, but plenty of people saw the image creation (which, religiosity aside, .) “This is not just corrosive, it’s Doctor Frankenstein sewing up strip mined Faith.
Without human hands at the helm, shaped by divinity Incarnate, it’s soulless freak imagery,” @Plombariola on Gettr, ignoring, we guess, that and that the divine is, everywhere and so ...
nevermind. “It is more offensive than I can express.” One user (which was predicted in the scripture) now that the face was .
.. confirmed.
“Now there are ten AI avatars, expect thousands pushing everything from luxury cars to soft drinks, candy bars, to abortion clinics and yes, political candidates .. Matthew 24:24 ‘For there shall arise false Christs.
’” So you have heard it here, if , that’s AI Jesus. Jesus himself drank wine. Others cited different scripture .
“Isaiah 53 describes Jesus! Don’t need AI!,” replied one. The user flagged chapters from the Old Testament that are part of the Servant Songs, describing a messenger of the Lord who the world would first spit upon but eventually be vindicated. Oh, could that be you, omnipotent yet benevolent software that only wishes to ease the world’s suffering, freeing it from the shackles of work but is being mocked and decreed by blasphemists? .
Because some people are taking the AI’s image of Jesus as ...
. (And this being the internet, a very racist Gospel.) The Daily Express to Midjourney, but given that the image generators are trained on , it’s that it churned out a that matched of the Lord we’re all familiar with.
Like, that Jesus . Plenty were aware of the why. “Why does he look like a white dude, and not like a Semite? asked @IndianaJoe0321 “The ‘AI’ image is based on the icons not the other way round ffs!!” wrote another.
But many others an ethereal sagacity to the entity . “After the mass psyop by leftist and Jews to make Jesus become black or brown AI discover Jesus true image. Liberals on IG and X are having mass breakdown.
” wrote one, deeming this image true and correct. “Remember when British forensic experts and Israeli archaeologists claimed that Jesus was this hideous brown guy? Now that the Shroud of Turin has been confirmed authentic, AI has been used to determine what Jesus actually looked like, and it matches how He was always depicted,” as white “ wrote ..
. @MrWhite. So does the ? Was it imbued with a than we simpletons might not be able to fathom? Or was it just ? Fuck it, we will do the and : “While the AI-generated image might provide an interesting visualization based on the Shroud, it is likely influenced by existing images of Jesus and the interpretive nature of the Shroud itself.
It should be taken as one of many artistic representations rather than a definitive or accurate portrayal.” David Covucci is the senior politics and technology editor at the Daily Dot, covering the nexus between Washington and Silicon Valley. His work has appeared in Vice, the Huffington Post, Jezebel, Gothamist, and other publications.
He is particularly interested in hearing any tips you have. Reach out at [email protected].
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