Social media is abuzz with a privilege many may not think about: being hot. On , /u/SpecialFragrant6696 sparked the discussion with a that said, "What are things attractive people do that 'unattractive' people wouldnt even think of?" More than 2,000 comments poured in, painting a picture of how "pretty privilege" manifests in everyday life. spoke with Erika Bent, a licensed marriage and family therapist and the founder of Cypress Wellness Collective, about why conversations concerning beauty and society are still so difficult to have.
Bent described "pretty privilege" as a term that "encapsulates the societal advantages that individuals deemed attractive by conventional standards often experience." She said that these privileges can manifest in several ways, from simply receiving more positive attention to being treated favorably in professional settings. One of the most upvoted comments on the Reddit post came from /u/hairymao, who wrote that attractive people often find more freedom in their fashion choices.
"If you're pretty/handsome, people are more receptive to new fashion choices," the user wrote, highlighting the societal allowance given to attractive people to experiment with their appearance without the fear of judgment or ridicule. Another user, /u/Golden_Girll, offered this example: "Get good tips as a waitress/waiter without really trying." The comment was echoed by /u/ATD369, who shared a story of working alongside an attractive co-worker who, despite consistently making mistakes, still managed to secure higher tips.
"I bust my a** all the time, but I'm not pretty," they wrote. "She's ..
. beautiful, and blonde, and I guess that's all it takes to get a good tip." Perhaps one of the most striking examples of "pretty privilege" came from /u/FalconBurcham, who shared that their attractive friend could bypass social barriers without a second thought.
"She used to walk into bars and VIP areas without paying," the user wrote. "She took me with her, so I wasn't even jealous." These anecdotes highlight how beauty can be used as a social currency or an all-access pass to behaviors that others may not be able to indulge in as easily.
contacted /u/SpecialFragrant6696 for comment via Reddit. Bent told that the dynamics these Reddit users shared are deeply rooted in societal , which are often narrow and exclusionary. "Societal standards of beauty create a hierarchy where those who fit the mold of 'attractiveness' are rewarded, while those who do not are marginalized or overlooked," she said.
The Reddit debate also brought attention to the discomfort many feel when discussing "pretty privilege." Bent said that acknowledging this privilege—the idea that some benefit from their appearance while others are disadvantaged—challenges the societal notion of "meritocracy," where success is supposedly based solely on "hard work and talent." "Discussions about beauty and attractiveness are often seen as subjective, which can make it difficult to frame them as societal issues rather than personal opinions," she continued.
Bent added that it is crucial to talk about "pretty privilege" more openly. She said: "By recognizing how these dynamics operate, we can begin to challenge the narrow standards of beauty that harm everyone, including those who may benefit from these privileges. To start these conversations, it's important to frame them in the context of broader discussions about equity, diversity and inclusion.
"We can ask questions like, 'How do impact our perceptions and treatment of others?' or 'In what ways can we expand our understanding of beauty to be more inclusive and less harmful?'" As the Reddit conversation continues to grow, it reflects how ingrained societal standards of beauty are. Whether it's receiving better service, avoiding criticism or gaining access to exclusive spaces, the privileges associated with conventional attractiveness are real for —and especially those who don't. Bent said that by keeping the conversation alive, we can hopefully reach a more "inclusive understanding of beauty, where all bodies are valued and respected.
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