You might have seen my novel 'Sugar, Baby' on the shelf of your local bookshop . It was a labour of love and the culmination of the preoccupations of my late teens and early twenties; my experiences with friends on the London nightlife scene, my degree in anthropology and my desire above all else to become an author. After much back and forth and various different incarnations, my book was finally ready for the world.
In its final form, it is a scandalous but hopeful account of a young mixed-race girl who rebels against her religious upbringing, befriends a group of models and embarks on a life as a 'sugar baby' - a young woman who dates wealthy older men in exchange for cash . It's a coming-of-age story with a twist which explores the twisty power dynamics and dark corners of the secretive world of high-class sex work and I'm so proud of it. I was warned as the launch of 'Sugar, Baby' approached, that the year would be a rollercoaster ride of heightened emotion that nothing could prepare me for.
I marked the launch day with Champagne, macarons from Ladurée and a late night at Ronnie Scott’s with friends. That was exactly one year ago today and though I've survived, I have to agree that the rollercoaster statement was accurate. The experience has been a unique one.
So here's a little round-up of the good, the bad and the ugly of one year as a debut author. The bad Let's start with the negative and get that bit out of the way. It's all well and good being a writer who doesn't have anything published.
For a while, it was actually pretty bloody convenient. It provided me with the perfect excuse for an early exit from dull parties and a reason not to show up to things I'd really rather not go to. "I've got to work on my novel, sorry.
Deadlines", I'd say dramatically and people seemed to accept it without question. "Of course", they'd say. "Deadlines.
Makes sense." A writer with a deadline is a sort of sexy, mysterious, unknown quantity. But when your novel actually comes out there's nowhere to hide and people you know actually want to read it which is mildly horrifying, kind of like the equivalent of your personal diary being broadcast live and then having the most embarrassing parts re-enacted by a twelve-man theatre group.
The ugly As for the ugly, I knew the subject matter of 'Sugar, Baby' was going to be somewhat controversial but even I have been shocked by some of the rumours I've heard about myself as the author. Everyone assumes that the main character's story is my story. I've been very open about the fact that Sugar, Baby is inspired by real life but it's not an autobiography or even a work of autofiction.
I do find it quite amusing that books by women authors are so often assumed to be diaristic in a way that books by men rarely are. That's why my next novel is all about a middle-aged Mancunian male construction worker who stumbles across a time-travelling portal disguised as a fairground photobooth. Just kidding but also, maybe someone should write that.
The good And now for the good. There have been plenty of surreal, pinch-me moments over the past year, being invited to interviews and podcasts, signing books, and writing press pieces. It's still exciting to see my name and my book featured by publications I grew up reading.
I gave a talk and a Q&A at the famed West Kirby Bookshop in Wirral. It was hard to believe that people had actually come to an event to hear what I had to say. I've met so many new people and befriended a few other authors who debuted in the same year as me, it's been wonderful comparing experiences and talking about the publishing industry and our writing processes.
Authors are typically quite solitary creatures like leopards, black cats or octopi, and the process of writing a novel can be isolating, connecting with other writers has been wonderful. I love seeing people post about 'Sugar, Baby' online, I love reading their feedback and seeing copies of the book with quotes annotated and covered in tabs. I get such a thrill when I see my novel out in the wild in a bookshop or bookshop window.
I'm still waiting to see someone read it on the tube when I'm out and about - I think I'll explode with happiness if that ever happens! And saving the best for last, when I get messages on Instagram or emails from people who've read the book and loved it, I feel like I'm walking on air. I've had girls tell me that they've had the same experiences as the characters in my novel and that they never could have imagined seeing themselves reflected in literature until now. People write to tell me that they've connected with the experiences of race, religion, sex work, friendship and relationships in my novel.
That makes all of the hard work worth it and makes me feel as though my work has value. It's moments like these that inspire me to keep writing and make me feel reassured that my writing is being found by the audience that wants it. So, to summarise, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I love rollercoasters.
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