After months of feverish speculation, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez’s separation is official. JLo filed for divorce on the day of their second wedding anniversary, which is very linear but also poetic and poignant and sad. Divorce is always monumentally unpleasant.
I’ve tried it, and I rate it zero stars. But there is an excellent way to avoid divorce, and that is don’t get married in the first place (or second place, for that matter, or third ..
.) Ben Affleck and JLo clearly didn’t go to Boy Scouts or girl guides, as all the knots they tie come undone. Credit: AP You see, it’s not the “being unmarried” bit that’s hard; it’s becoming legally disentangled from your spouse.
It’s messy and expensive and can be shameful to admit, particularly when you’re a public figure. I remember feeling awkward about mentioning my divorce in one of my quiet columns. Announcing it to a worldwide audience of millions would – I imagine – feel considerably worse.
This will be the second divorce for Ben (poor, Sad Ben ). He was engaged to Jennifer Lopez, married to Jennifer Garner, reunited with Jennifer Lopez, and now married and separated from her. JLo, on the other hand, has been married four times (including, most recently, to the singer Marc Anthony) and has been engaged a total of five times.
I know several ordinary people who have been married three or more times, but it does seem to be more common among celebrities. Kate Winslet, Tom Cruise, Drew Barrymore and Kim Kardashian have all been married three times (so far). Our own Rupert Murdoch just tied the knot for a fifth time, a year after calling off a wedding to someone else.
Loading Just last week, 38-year-old actor Kaley Cuoco announced her engagement to actor Tom Pelphrey, after two marriages and divorces. In 2022, she told Glamour magazine that she would “absolutely” never remarry. “Never”, apparently, lasts about two years.
I don’t mean to be a cynic, especially about love, but it does beg the question: why? Why do they keep embracing the social and legal construct of marriage that has failed them so dismally in the past? Of course, marriage can be steeped in religion and faith, but none of these celebrities seem particularly pious. Marriage in a secular sense is but a statement to the world that you are committed to another person for life, or thereabouts. When you’ve already made this statement two or more times, it can’t help but lose its gravitas, if not sanctity.
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