Each week, Dr Kirstin Ferguson tackles questions on workplace, career and leadership in her advice column, “ Got a Minute? ” This week: a polite request to be left alone, a boss who won’t take feedback and a fitness instructor with a tricky question. Sometimes good intentions can be misunderstood. Credit: Dionne Gain I had a breakdown earlier in the year due to the stress caused by my high workload.
I shared with my line manager that when I’m stressed, I prefer to be left alone, unless I ask for help. Recently, my team had a high workload again, and I felt my stress return. My line manager came to see me and asked if I wanted to get coffee and chat, to which I repeatedly said, “maybe”.
I wanted to prioritise my work and thought this was the most polite way to decline. The next day, my line manager pulled me aside and chastised me. She said she had been looking forward to seeing me and said it was unprofessional for me to decline her invitation.
Since then, she’s stopped speaking to me entirely outside team meetings. What else can I do to restore a normal working relationship? Loading I get the impression you and your line manager can work this out, but you both need to be prepared to listen and give one another a bit of grace. I suspect your boss was well-intentioned.
It sounds like she wanted to check in and make sure you were OK given she knows you have had a challenging year. Her response when you declined was not great, for sure. Chastising you for not havin.
