I’m on a date with a fashion model who’s way out of my league as a photographer snaps pictures of me trying to pour on the charm at an Italian spot — all because I look kinda like Luigi Mangione . We share a bottle of white wine at hidden gem Inatteso in Battery Park City as she tells me she’s not convinced Mangione is the man who killed UnitedHealthcare CEO, Brian Thompson . My date doesn’t think the widely circulated photo of the smiling suspect from a New York City hostel is actually Mangione — and allow me to assure you it isn’t me.
Soon we’re eating lasagna and having a flowing, flirtatious conversation that avoids any mention of politics. She even laughs when I try to make jokes and allows me to tell her my theories on the New Jersey drone phenomenon. I realize the date is going criminally well when I rant for 10 minutes about “The Telepathy Tapes” podcast and she pretends to find it interesting.
I find myself thinking, perhaps like Luigi behind bars, “How did I get here?” It all started with an Instagram story post I made after receiving way too many in-person comments about the alleged resemblance — from co-workers, friends, family members, bartenders, strangers, gym-goers, members of the clergy. Frankly, I don’t even see it. There must be a few dozen kids I grew up with on Staten Island that are as close or closer to being a dead ringer for the suspected killer.
“I do not look like the CEO killer other than being Italian,” I wrote in a.
