If you haven't heard anyone say they're ' very demure , very mindful,' you must either not have social media or are just not in tune with Gen Z. The phrase, which gained popularity just a few weeks ago is literally everywhere online. From pretty much every person on TikTok saying it, celebrities captioning social media posts as 'very cutesy, very mindful,' to brands using the phrase in ads and posts - why are we all being so demure all of a sudden? The phrase was coined by TikToker Jools Lebron , who has more than 1.
2 million followers on the platform and posted several skits, advising her fans on how to behave in a range of silly situations - however, people have now started to take it seriously. Has this fun trend turned toxic, or is it a way to remind ourselves not to take life too seriously? There are now floods of TikToks with people actually teaching you how to act demure, have demure makeup and take demure selfies. The trend has ultimately flipped itself to go from a joke and people poking fun at themselves into a real way of acting in life.
No one is immune from being 'demure'. Thanks to TikTok, there is a demure and cutesy way to bed rot, pour wine, do your makeup and even eat doughnuts. Jools racked up nearly 9 million views on a video where she told her fans how to be "demure, modest and respectful" in the workplace where she emphasised neutral and modest makeup and clothing, and satirically urged people to "avoid disrespecting their employers" warning them to be "mindful" of why they hired you.
The Oxford English Dictionary definitions include "calm" and "reserved or composed in demeanour" and when it comes to the workplace and her makeup, Jools jibed: "I don't do too much, I'm very mindful while I'm at work," noting she would never sport green eyeliner, for example. The TikToker joked many girls go to their interview "looking like Marge Simpson but then turn up to the job looking like Patty and Selma" and said this was "not demure". Her skit scenarios include boarding and exiting a plane, where Jools brags she "doesn't rush" and "waits my turn", as scrambling to get on and off isn't very "demure".
Jools added: "I don't do an applause when we land, I close my window and am very mindful. I am very demure and very cutesy." The demure joke has been widely used online with other TikTokers jumping on the trend - including one woman who shared a video on X of an Olympic athlete bailing on a high jump and joked: "About to jump to conclusions and then I remember to be classy and demure.
" However, there are now people actually telling you how to be "demure and mindful" that aren't sarcastic jokes and it's being used to describe pretty much anything these days. Although it can be argued it's now putting pressure on Gen Z and other social media users to act in certain ways with an underlying message among the 'skits'. While it's no secret everything we see on social media is a perfected sense of reality, this trend could be subconsciously making people think and act in certain ways.
Social media expert Lindi Mngaza, Founder and Managing Director of Explode Social Media told The Mirror: "Like anything social media-related, it can turn in an instant. "Anything with a lot of people's attention is fueled by their energy, and often if someone's not feeling great on a particular day, they can fuel negative energy into comments. It can run like wildfire—something can be funny in one moment, but to ride the wave longer, changing the tonality of that content will help it last longer.
It's similar to when people say something's bad but they mean good. It's a trend that's happened throughout humanity for a while." However, this 'demure' trend can also be seen as a spoof on the Gen Z obsession with "quiet luxury".
This is where people act calm and collected, you show wealth with small gestures, hints and a whisper rather than screaming - think clean girl, no makeup but expensive gym clothes and a pricey green smoothie. The 'demure' thing to do would be for this trend to now end for good. Do you have a story to share? Email niamh.
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