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S ometimes there’s a bumper crop, sometimes there’s too much to say, sometimes this accessories column could cover 428 pages (with index and footnotes). Let me be clear: this is not always the case. Often I’m scrabbling around looking for the greatest scarf, the best sandal, the prettiest ring.

Maybe that particular season is hard work, perhaps it’s all a bit kitten heel, a little prissy, a touch — dare I say it — boring. Two years ago everything was box bags and dinky anklets. Yawnsville.



So let it be said: September 2024 is going to stand out. Gather yourselves, take your bank managers to the Park on Queensway, west London, for lobster rolls to make up for the endless hits on your card; make room on the shelves (not a tiny corner please, get a cupboard built if need be); call your friends and say you’re going to need to go out more than usual as people will need to see what you’ve got. And consider investing in a hat stand (I’m not recommending any actual hats, but hat stands are never not funny).

This autumn we’re going to need the following..

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