The media is replete with examples of fraught in-law relationships. From the to the detached father-in-law, there's often not a positive representation of these dynamics—and for good reason. Many married people and find peace with their partner's parents.
wondered if there was a place—apart from the therapist's couch—to gain the insight needed to bond and heal relationships with in-laws. We were curious about what the chatbot had to say about fathers-in-law as the arguably less-represented in-law relationship. asked the generative AI tool ChatGPT to outline a few ways sons- and daughters-in-law could deal with challenging fathers-in-law.
the following prompt: "You are a relationship expert. Outline three ways a son-in-law can deal with his father-in-law and three ways a daughter-in-law can deal with her father-in-law." ChatGPT proposed a list of six ways people can —three for men and three for women.
has listed the six methods as suggested by the chatbot below: : Actively listen to his opinions and experiences, express gratitude for his support, and be mindful of his traditions and values, even if they differ from your own. : Discover and engage in shared hobbies or activities to build a bond, participate actively in family gatherings, and offer assistance or seek his advice on topics he's passionate about. : Address any conflicts or misunderstandings calmly and directly, be transparent about your feelings and intentions, and seek his feedback to show you value his input.
: Clearly and respectfully communicate your needs and boundaries, be mindful of his personal space, and address sensitive issues gradually to avoid overwhelming him. : Regularly show appreciation for his efforts and support, engage in meaningful conversations to build a connection, and acknowledge and celebrate his achievements and milestones. : Make an effort to include him in family activities and decisions, create opportunities for positive interactions and bonding with other family members, and respect his role and contributions within the family.
Navigating relationships with a father-in-law can be challenging, and while AI-generated advice may offer practical steps, Seth Eisenberg, president of the Practical Application of Intimate Relationship Skills (PAIRS) Foundation, told about his more holistic approach. "When we deal with relationships—especially those that challenge us—it's not just about strategies or actions," Eisenberg said. "It's about being real, being congruent with ourselves and understanding the deeper needs that drive our interactions.
" For a son-in-law, Eisenberg suggested that respect must go beyond the politeness ChatGPT offered. "It's easy to act respectfully, but true respect comes from seeing the other person as they are, not as we wish them to be. I'd encourage a son-in-law to really take the time to understand who his father-in-law is," he said.
"What are his dreams, his fears, his unmet needs?" By focusing on understanding the father-in-law as a person, Eisenberg said, a son-in-law can offer genuine respect and build a deeper bond. Eisenberg pointed out the importance of going beyond surface-level shared hobbies: "Finding common interests is nice, but I want to push you to go further," he said. "What values or beliefs do you both hold? Are there shared life experiences—perhaps as men, fathers, or partners—that you can connect over?" For daughters-in-law, Eisenberg agreed with the necessity of setting boundaries but expanded the advice to include respect for the self.
"Boundaries are...
expressions of self-respect," he said. "When setting a boundary, ask yourself, 'What do I need to feel safe and authentic in this relationship?' Then communicate it not as a demand, but as a way to stay true to yourself, while also honoring the relationship." Eisenberg warned daughters-in-law against trying to win over a father-in-law through excessive efforts to please.
He encouraged them to bring warmth and humanity to their interactions, not through people-pleasing, but by acknowledging both their own needs and those of the father-in-law with compassion. A perspective that ChatGPT doesn't always leverage is the cultural context, and Eisenberg noted this as an important caveat to any AI-generated advice. In many cultures, Eisenberg said, fathers-in-law hold a position of authority, which can create tension when new family members enter the mix.
"There may be a clash of values or expectations, and these tensions are often influenced by gender roles and generational differences," he said. "Understanding this context helps to soften any rigid expectations—whether from yourself or your father-in-law—allowing for more flexibility and compassion." Ultimately, Eisenberg acknowledged the usefulness of AI for structured and logical relationship advice but cautioned of its limitations.
"AI...
can provide helpful suggestions, but it cannot see you," he said. "It doesn't understand your emotions, your fears, your longings. It can offer general advice, but true healing comes from being seen and heard by another human being.
"The beauty of human relationships lies in our ability to grow together, to learn from our interactions, and to discover the deeper layers of ourselves through those around us.".
