Hoda Kotb is marking her 60th birthday with a special solo installment of her During this milestone episode, the TODAY anchor is taking a moment to reflect on her experience with breast cancer — and how it disrupted her plan for building her family. Hoda was in 2007, which she shared candidly on The TODAY Show. "When I got sick, I remember it so clearly because I was thinking to myself, like, 'How do I have breast cancer?' And 'why do I need a mastectomy?' And 'how did this even happen?' And 'is this a mistake?' And 'what does this mean?'" Hoda recalls in the new podcast episode.
"I worried that everyone who had cancer died of cancer. And I thought, 'Oh my God, well, I have it now. So is that what that means?'" Hoda underwent a as part of her treatment and has remained cancer-free in the years since.
But the experience took a toll on her self-image — and required her to adjust her expectations for the future. "I do remember that even the doctor said to me then, you know, one of the side effects, especially at your age, which was in my early 40s, is you won’t be able to have children," Hoda says in the episode. "I was like, 'Wait, what?' So this thing not only put limits on my life, but killed a dream.
(It) didn’t kill me right then, but it killed a dream," she says. At one point, Hoda explored the possibility of freezing her eggs. But, during the process, her oncologist called with disappointing news.
“She basically said that given my age and (my breast cancer treatment), it was pretty close to a dead-end,” Hoda . “I was in my room, and I just sobbed. I thought, ‘Well, that’s that, isn’t it?’ Like, you almost blame yourself.
‘Why didn’t I do this? Why didn’t I do that?’ So I just pushed it away because the reality seemed impossible to bear. “How do you survive knowing you can’t have what you desire and what you feel like you actually physically need?” Women going through cancer treatment are sometimes advised to options, including egg freezing. Chemotherapy, certain surgeries and increasing age as the treatment continues can all contribute to reduced fertility following cancer treatment, as TODAY.
com previously reported. But even if eggs are frozen successfully, that that they will result in a healthy pregnancy down the line. Of course, the diagnosis, treatment and fertility challenges didn't stop Hoda from building her family.
Her path to motherhood just required a detour. In 2017, when Hoda was 52, she , who is now 7. And two years later, she also adopted daughter Hope, who is now 5.
She's also in possibly adopting a third child at some point. On the new "Making Space" episode, Hoda goes on to recall that she was “pretty low” after learning that the egg freezing wouldn't be successful. But she woke up one morning and,“like a lightning bolt,” remembers saying four words to herself: “You can’t scare me.
Because the worst had happened. So now what? Now what am I afraid of?” She goes on to say that, “Not being afraid released me. It made me free.
" That sense of fearlessness amid the diagnosis is something Hoda has spoken about before. That's partly because the diagnosis can bring a new sense of clarity, she explained during a March 14, 2024, . “I feel like anyone who’s ever gone through that cancer trip or journey, I feel like your life does snap into focus.
It’s sort of like, ‘Boom!’ And you’re like, ‘Ok, what am I doing right now?’” she said. After taking stock of what did and didn't work for her in her life, Hoda "became fearless, like wildly fearless," she said. "I was always concerned, I was a pleaser (beforehand).
Suddenly, I was like, ‘It could be over.'" Now, with a new outlook on life, she's revisiting those feelings and taking stock of what she's learned. "When I was sick with cancer some years ago, I think I realized my life was short and limited and I should ask for what I wanted," she says.
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