Modern romance THE dating scene can be a whole lot of fun. It can also be confusing for the uninitiated. A friend of reader Mark Baldwin joined a dating community for middle-aged men and women who are on the hunt for lurve.
(Or perhaps just a sneaky snog at the end of a boozy Friday night.) Mark’s friend was surprised when he was asked by the person running the group to complete a detailed questionnaire. One of the questions he was asked was if he was interested in "ethical non-monogamy".
He had never heard of this exotic concept, so inquired what it meant. The chap running the group explained: “That’s when you don’t even bother pretending you’re not married.” Talking balls THE teenage daughter of reader Janice Morrow applied for a weekend job working as an assistant with a Glasgow paintball company.
When she returned home from her interview Janice asked how it went. With a cocky grin, the teen replied: “I suppose you could say I passed with flying colours.” Face facts ON a southside bus into Glasgow city centre, reader Eddie Hutcheson overheard two vivacious young debutantes chatting.
Said one debutante to the other: “I’m gettin ma botox done oan Thursday.” She added: “ Thank goad. Wi'oot ma botox, I feel like I’m walkin’ aboot wi someone else’s face hingin’ aff ma ears.
” Bedtime story DECIDING to refurbish the bedroom shared by her two young sons, Maureen Laverty took the six and seven-year-old to a warehouse specialising in beds, and asked if they would like to replace their standard beds with a natty new bunkbed. Both lads were delighted to do so, with the seven-year-old gazing at the two-storey bed approvingly, before saying: “Excellent! It’s like a chest of drawers for humans.” Snack attack ENGLISH teacher Mark Hanson was once supervising the school lunch break, and noticed two 14-year-old boys munching snacks while arguing, which led to a diabolical threat.
Said one angry lad to the other: “I’ve got a Wotsit in my hand, and I’m not afraid to use it.” Jim Pairman says : “I totally support nursing mothers who need to breastfeed in public premises, though I’m not sure the gents lav is the best place..
.” (Image: Contributed) Frying tonight THE Diary is making famous music acts edible. Brian Logan from Langside suggests an oriental twist on a classic Mersey Beat hit.
..You’ll Never Wok Alone.
The big chill OUTRAGED reader John Powell gets in touch to grump: “If you serve your kids frozen lasagna or frozen spaghetti for dinner, you are a terrible parent. I don't care how busy you are, find the time to microwave the food first.”.
