The gang show FAMILY pride is a wonderful thing. Reader Ralph Sutherland was at a dinner party in Edinburgh’s Morningside where the hostess was an imperious personage, a snob of the highest rank. Her husband, though wealthy, didn’t share his wife’s airs and graces.
After a few glasses of wine it was clear that he was in the mood to take his other half down a peg or two. “You know,” he said to the assembled partygoers, “my wife went to a private school, but two generations back, her grandfather was a minor Glasgow gangland figure.” His wife did not take kindly to this slur.
Glaring at her husband with haughty splendour, she defended the family honour magnificently. “Grandfather was not a minor gangland figure,” said she. “He was a very significant gangster, indeed.
” Dead useful “I READ a book titled ‘1001 Things To Do Before You Die’,” says Diary correspondent Rob Butler. “I was surprised ‘yell for help’ wasn’t one of them.” Browned off STROLLING down Sauchiehall Street, reader Steve Howard overheard a young bloke say to his pal: “I’d rather jump in a volcano than go on a beach where two of my exes would be.
” Steve tells us: “Which ever option he chose, he’d get a great tan.” Foster Evans notes that it might be advisable for Donald Trump to stop upsetting Haitians..
. (Image: free) Bog-awful behaviour A CAD in the cludgie. Reader Laura Fenn, who uses a wheelchair, was in a café in Glasgow city centre and needed to pop to the loo.
When she arrived, the door to the disabled toilet was locked. After an uncomfortably long wait, a bloke strode out, not appearing to be infirm in any visible way. “Did you really need to use that particular toilet?” snapped an outraged Laura.
“Yes, I did,” the chap shot back in an insolent manner. “I suffer from low self-esteem.” Laura tells the Diary: “He would have been suffering from a punch to the gut if I hadn’t had to race to the toilet.
” Bog-awful behaviour, continued A TALE of triumph over adversity. Reader Gareth Rose says: “Looking back at all the successes and failures in my life..
. I can't help but be proud that at least the potty training thing stuck. Get the legendary Herald Diary straight to your inbox.
Childish behaviour THE husband of Susan Bennett is a sarcastic fella. The couple were in a restaurant where a baby was howling. “Must be nappy rash,” said sympathetic Susan.
“Or perhaps,” replied her husband, “it suffers from existential despair.” Straight talk “I HAD a date with a posture specialist,” says reader Mark Saunders. “She stood me up.
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