The kayak cross at the Paris Olympics was exhilarating for two reasons. Firstly, it was introduced to the Games only this year. Secondly, it saw two Australian sisters, who happen to be some of the strongest paddlers in the world, come bow to bow.
On Sunday, Jess and Noémie Fox hit the water to determine who would progress to the quarter-finals the following day. The latter clinched the win, going on to win the gold medal. But despite Noémie’s victory, practically every headline still mentioned her sister Jess, a three-time Olympic gold medallist.
The kayak cross win by Noémie Fox (left) was described as stepping out of her sister Jess’ shadow. Why are so many siblings pitted against each other? Credit: AP “Noémie Fox emulates sister Jess by winning Paris 2024 gold with kayak cross victory,” The Guardian wrote. Elsewhere, the ABC described Noémie’s achievement as “stepping out of sister Jess’ shadow.
” For those with siblings, this may sound all too familiar. Whether it’s the fact that your sister owns a house while you rent, or that your brother got promoted at work while you stagnate, sibling rivalry can be as common as it is brutal. Why do so many of us struggle with these feelings of inadequacy, and is there a way to overcome them? Why do I feel like I’m living in my sibling’s shadow? Sibling rivalry is generally a normal part of family functioning, says Paul Rhodes, a lecturer at the University of Sydney and clinical psychologist specialising in family therapy.
We are wired to compare ourselves to others as a way of developing our sense of fairness, justice and self-esteem. Since our siblings are some of the first people we interact with regularly, it makes sense we would compare ourselves to them so frequently. Feeling as if you’re always in your sibling’s shadow? You’re far from the only one.
Credit: Shutterstock “Perhaps the parent is busy or preoccupied, so the child feels they are competing for affection, time or closeness,” Rhodes says. “Perhaps one child is seen as more gifted than another, although this may be only a perception, or a parent is closer to one specific child because of similar personalities.” This kind of comparison can sometimes result in arguments, withdrawal from the family, and festering resentment, Rhodes says, all of which can develop during childhood and continue into adulthood.
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