BY ANNIE LANE Dear Annie: I am an older mom of three toddlers. My husband and I tried for many years to have children and were not successful on our own, but with the help of IVF, we now have three beautiful children. Our oldest is 5 and I am now 55.
I knew having children later in life would come with questions, but some people can be so hurtful. Strangers have said, “What beautiful children -- are you Mom or Grandma?” What business is it of theirs, and how is me answering that question going to make their day better? In this diverse world we live in, it seems like it’s so acceptable to have two moms or two dads. Why is it not acceptable to be an older mom? What would be a proper reply to someone who asks? -- Left Speechless Dear Speechless: I’m so sorry you’ve felt judged and unaccepted by people who are clearly ignorant of the journey you’ve been through to create your family.
The next time it comes up, try a simple but confident, “I’m their mom and very grateful to be.” This answers their question while hopefully shutting the door on any further comments. As annoying and hurtful as the people posing these questions can be, remember that their opinions are unimportant.
All that matters is your family’s health, happiness and well-being. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected] .
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