I've been having this dream where I wake up and someone else has emptied the dishwasher. Where I come out for breakfast and the kitchen bench is shining and a hot cup of tea is waiting, just the way I like it, milky with one sugar. Subscribe now for unlimited access .
Login or signup to continue reading $ 0 / $ NaN /year All articles from our website The digital version of Today's Paper Breaking news alerts direct to your inbox All articles from the other regional websites in your area Continue But then I wake up. Make my own bed, noting that perhaps I need to wash the sheets this week. And head to the kitchen to unpack the dishwasher, which is always full because I still see the value in cooking myself a nice meal.
The adage that the cook doesn't need to clean doesn't work in my house because I have to do both. I'll get a load of washing on, knowing I'll have to do the folding later, and put it away myself. At least I've weaned myself off ironing.
Surely it's time to clean up your act, lady? Picture Shutterstock Perhaps there's a bag of garbage to take out, weeding to be done in the garden, sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, dusting ...
and please don't mention the bathrooms. Look, don't get me wrong. I couldn't stand living in a dirty house.
I've always taken pride in my domestic skills. I like an organised home, one where everything has its place. My idea of "unclean" is probably far more clean than many other people's definitions, tidiness too.
I've been known to have real physical reactions to the state of other people's homes. I apologise that I never came back for a second visit after that. You won't know who you are.
Because some people have different standards and that's OK. But lord, it's not hard to wipe pee off the walls. Maybe you could even show one of your four sons what to do.
It's spring. And that means spring cleaning. An idea that dates back to biblical times when many cultures spent time cleansing the home.
It's also traditionally been a time of renewal, when the home as well as the mind can be reduced of clutter, allowing people to start again with a clean slate. I'm all for this kind of restart so why, this spring, is the whole idea filling me with dread? Maybe because I hate these chores now. Shower screens Does anyone have the perfect hack? Bi-carb, a squeegie, industrial strength bleach, lemon juice? If you do, come over and show me.
I'll shower you with thanks. Changing the toilet paper Honey, can you get me another roll? Oh, hang on, there is no honey. After all this time on my own I'm still mastering stocking the stockpile.
And I have no one to blame if there's an empty roll on the holder. At least I know it will be rolling the right way, over, not under. Emptying the dishwasher An empty dishwasher is one of my love languages.
But at least I know it will be stacked the right way. Thanks for stacking it, if you've come over for dinner, please don't take it personally if I repack it when you're gone. At least you won't notice that I have repacked it.
Because I always do it. Dusting Does anyone dust anymore? I remember my mother doing the full round of the house with a spray can of Mr Sheen and an old cloth. Our childhood was lemon-scented.
There are spots in my house where I start to notice after a while and think it can't be good for my lungs to be breathing in all that dust. I whip out a feather duster (which I'm sure does nothing more than move the dust around) and it's gone till I notice it next time. Garbage Living in a complex now, at least I don't have to worry about remembering when bin night is.
I just gather up my little bag of rubbish and dump it in the communal skip. My rebellion against having to be responsible for all the garbage is not worrying about recycling. Does it really matter? Cobwebs Mainly because I'm so short.
And not so stable on a ladder anymore. There's a few corners in the house I'd just like someone else to reach and deal with please. But then I read something about how house spiders are your friends and just let them be.
They take care of more insects than you think. Now if only I could get them to empty the dishwasher. Share Facebook Twitter Whatsapp Email Copy Karen Hardy Canberra Times sports journalist Email: karen.
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