Actor Bobbi Salvör Menuez and artist Quori Theodor’s meet-cute moment came at a dinner with a group of mutual friends in 2018, when they were the only ones who “insisted on ordering dessert”—leading to their first “real date” on Coney Island soon afterward. The couple’s engagement, though, was a three-part saga. “I first proposed on an impulse over dinner at our neighborhood Thai spot, offering their great grandmother’s ring which I was already wearing,” says Bobbi of the shared token, a “mega ring” of six diamonds combined from inherited jewels.
“We would switch wearing it every couple of days.” There were many more custom jewels to come, though: Bobbi had plans to propose “in a more intentional, planned out way,” and reached out to their friend Evangeline Adalioryn about making a ring. “It was her first ring commission, but I knew she would make the perfect ring.
” They chose a horizontal set baguette cut deep garnet, “and the twists and curls of the gold felt both connected to the claws of a crab—Quori’s a Cancer—and the horns of a bull—I’m a Taurus.” Bobbi picked the morning of a full moon to pop the question while the couple was visiting Gabriola Island in British Columbia, the first place outside of New York where they’d spent time together as they were falling in love. After Bobbi proposed, Quori followed suit during Bobbi’s birthday celebration a few months later with close friends and family in Connecticut.
“It was the first gathering we had attended after the height of Covid quarantine, so it felt extra special to be together,” Quori remembers. “Bobbi was working the grill and I surprised them with two Zebus, or miniature cows. All our family and friends in attendance already knew the proposal was happening so they came outside.
I asked Bobbi to hold the lead line and got down on one knee.” Quori proposed with a custom ring from Darya Khonsary of Darius Jewels: a double mint emerald set in chunky brushed gold; one emerald with sharper edges, the other rounded. “The guests then released colored smoke, plumes of pink and green wafting into the trees, and everyone was crying,” Quori says.
“We sang made-up pop songs to the cows throughout the day.” With a date of August 8, 2024, set for the ceremony—to be held at a friend’s private property in the woods of Catskill, New York—the preparations took a village. “We reached out to so many of our talented friends to offer what they do best,” says Bobbi of coordinating with contributors and committing to enjoying everything the process brought their way.
“I have many fond memories of meeting up with friends and having meetings over dinner or giggling over creative.” Thankfully, this wasn’t their first time throwing a party. “We have planned large-scale events before as our food collective Spiral Theory Test Kitchen with Precious Okoyomon, so we did a lot of planning ourselves before we brought on Cloe Young, our incredible producer.
We also had our friend Nico Coppelman come on as food coordinator and that was our core dream team.” For their wedding looks, the design process was fully bespoke. Bobbi knew from the outset they wanted to collaborate with designer Claire Sullivan of Miss Claire Sullivan.
“We have a shared language, whimsy, sense of play and are always talking about angels, or geeking out about each other’s references,” says Bobbi of setting up their first wedding-specific meeting last year in their living room over tea. “I pulled out strands of lace and trimming from old Ziploc bags and we talked a lot about armor for the corset shape, found the ostrich feathers in a best friend’s basement, sewed bells into the pannier, and generally went all out.” It was truly a head-to-toe look, with Bobbi even finding “lace-up high-top cotton dancing shoes that Claire tea-dyed to match.
” Quori worked on an equally elaborate ceremony look with Zoe Gustavia Anna Walen, which “started with a 40-foot diameter French parachute and a little sketch,” he says. “We played with the parachute on her roof to understand how it wanted to move in the wind and decide how she was going to make the garment.” As Quori and the designer were already close friends, it was easy to talk through ideas and let things evolve as needed.
They allowed the materials to “reveal themselves” with each fitting, until a classic jacket pattern—and what the designer describes as “basketball shorts” as the base—surfaced. “The hood has boning in it and the transparent veil material was already the center of the parachute, which was eerily perfect,” says Quori. “The 30-foot train is designed as a cloak, but also has a gathered belt and kilt component that goes over the shorts and can be attached to the belt at the waist.
I wore it with a Margiela cowboy slipper.” Once the big day arrived, Bobbi and Quori got experimental with their glam. Bobbi knew they wanted to work with longtime friend Kali Kennedy for makeup, who “had an idea to make eyelash extensions from my own hair, so I gave her some two-inch pieces from my last haircut and she built these little extension pieces that felt so magic.
” For the angelic beauty look, “we added tiny metallic orbs spotted into my freckles to catch the light, talked about treasure, and wanted something that felt romantic while otherworldly.” They even created a trompe-l’œil stocking in the moment, airbrushing right onto the lace. Bobbi’s friend Sean Michael Bennett helped with hair, and “we clipped in different basket weave pieces for different looks throughout the eve.
” Kennedy created Quori’s “ethereal boy beat” as well. “She focused a lot on putting makeup on my ears, which I loved, with some tiny jewels hidden in unexpected places,” says Quori. Even the hair served multiple purposes, when “tendrils were glued to my face as eyeliner.
” Guests pulling up to the event, umbrellas in hand, let it rip with their own unfettered style. “We didn’t have any restrictions for our wedding party or guests, although the dress code was: ‘Try to outdress us,’” they share. “That being said, both Miss Claire Sullivan and Zoe Gustavia Anna Whalen brought up racks of clothes to dress our wedding party and guests who were in more performative roles.
We also had Julian Wolfstoller doing makeup for some of these same people, plus Sean Michael Bennett on hair for friends and even one of the little flower girls too!” Guests arrived as rain clouds parted to the sounds of a track composed by Kelsey Lu in collaboration with Taul Katz. “Our dear friend and local herbalist Remy Maelen of GoodWitch handed out a special potion we made together titled ‘a vow is a wish that you eat,’ which was accompanied by a scroll with some writing from her and information on the ingredients which held both material and immaterial significance to us both,” says Bobbi. Their friend Colin Self gathered everyone at the edge of a pond where a satin-draped chuppah (built by Ethan Skaates and Bobbi’s father, Ross) was positioned on the dock.
“Colin led guests in a grounding guided meditation moment that then led into a variation of this unique choir practice they lead called Xoir, which got everyone singing together, harmonizing in a ratio that references infinity,” they say of guests singing at the edge of the pond while the procession started. “We asked our extended wedding party to all be ‘flower girls’ despite age or gender.” Quori walked the aisle first across the lush lawn, followed by Bobbi running the aisle, bells jingling.
“Tourmaline was officiating and received us both at the dock and making her introduction,” they share. “We worked with her for two months weekly to go through the spiritual and ritual aspects of the ceremony, asking questions like, ‘What are we committing to?’” After Tourmaline’s introduction to the ceremony, the couple’s close friend and collaborator Precious Okoyomon read a poem they had written for the occasion. “As Tourmaline went into her officiant’s address, she invited guests to imbibe the potion from Remy and we took a pause of silence before going into our vows,” says Bobbi.
“Around this time a flock of black birds began to circle above the pond. For the ring exchange, we traded rings, having worn one another's to the altar.” For the wedding bands, Bobbi’s mother, of Kria Jewelry, made simple 18k yellow gold rings cast from hand-carved wax engraved with the phrase “don’t postpone joy” that they saw on a sign during that first date to Coney Island.
“I felt pretty calm during the ceremony—giddy at times and at other times more grounded, with waves of gratitude,” Quori remembers of being soothed by the rocking of the dock. “It was powerful and surreal.” After the adrenal release of a run down the aisle, “I felt extremely present and full of energy,” says Bobbi, who was calmed by Tourmaline taking the lead.
“I felt very cared for and truly loved, in this profound way—seeing everyone witnessing us and bringing their own presence to be shared was so moving. It felt so good to have our friends so woven into the ceremony as well. I felt really sure, looking at Quori across from me.
I cried a bit, as I expected I might.” For the recessional, Amandla Stenberg improvised a solo on their violin as Cherry Iocovozzi fixed a “perfect plate” for the couple to taste the food before it went out. In the meantime, there was more fashion.
“The ceremony look evolved for dinner by removing the train, pannier, and veil,” says Bobbi. “I then added this amazing ‘big ring’ necklace from my designer friend Marland Backus that looks exactly like an oversized diamond ring, switched into some white fishmonger rain boots from Japan, and brought a dreamy archive Vaquera umbrella where the white fabric of the umbrella drapes down to the floor.” Quori also chose Miss Claire Sullivan for his reception look.
“The final look was a custom balaclava made out of lingerie mesh with a giant satin rosette collar, a boxy cropped oversized suit jacket, coffee-dyed satin boxing shorts, a custom cummerbund, and a satin train designed as a backpack. The undershirt was a sheer tight garment with ostrich feathers stuck to my skin, which referenced Bobbi's look—although we kept our main looks secret from one another.” The food, of course, was the star of the show.
(The cake, by Jen Monroe of Bad Taste, was even made in the shape of an actual star.) Guests made their way to a tent enveloped with pink satin and lace, complete with a U-shaped dining table with a buffer down the center. For the tablescape, “we installed the floral under a layer of nude mesh fabric, above layers of white linen.
Lights were placed under the cloth to make it all glow,” says Bobbi. It would’ve been impossible to pick a single caterer “because our life is so steeped in food as a creative practice,” Quori shares. “Collaborator Precious Okoyomon and I individually have a conceptual food practice.
We wanted multiple culinary voices from long-term relationships with fellow chefs and food artists—we reached out to this community and let them lead creative on their own individual dishes.” Highlights included Silver and Cherry Iocovozzi driving their new smoker from North Carolina (where they have their restaurant Neng Jr’s) and “smoking a whole pig from Lover’s Leap Farm”; a non-nicotine sweet cream butter vape that Angel Dimayuga started the meal off with “that was served with a Perilla Melon drink in one-of-a-kind ceramic goblets by artist Bibi Belo”; delights from ACQ Bread baker and fermentologist Orchid Lee like “sourdough milk bread to go with the pork” and a special dessert bread; “funk butter” cultured with Chaseholm Farms triple-cream brie in a base of butter from Normandy; fresh mochi from Mama Luli of Breakfast Club in Tokyo; and veggies grown at Gentle Time Farm “a transgender, cooperatively run farm focusing on Asian diasporic produce.” They also served beverages from Kin Euphorics and had guests BYOB.
“We are both sober, so it was fun to have intentional non-alcoholic beverages.” After dinner, Bobbi’s cousin Izzy surprised them with a poem their late grandmother had written on the occasion of their own parents’ nuptials, and Hayden Dunham, a.k.
a. the musician HYD, performed a version of “Never Thought” (originally by Danny Sunshine) that Caroline Polachek had created for the couple. And of course, there was more fashion.
“I changed into a Vaquera archive sequin tux and matching tux thong look for cutting the cake and dancing all night,” says Bobbi. As for Quori’s “late night” look? “I wore a giant Women’s History Museum body chain over a tuxedo shirt tucked into a Vaquera leather thong, fishmonger boots, and a classic Vaquera sailor hat.” Monroe’s four-foot silver star wedding cake—garnished with a double-ended pulled sugar spoon and chains—was then placed at the head of the table.
“We stood on the table to cut the cake—and right as we were about to cut our first slice, the fireworks started,” Bobbi shares of the pyrotechnics provided by Eliza Douglas. “Everyone screamed! The fireworks continued in bursts throughout the night.” They all fed each other cake, then popped bottles of Love Conquers All from Waris Ahluwalia’s botanical drinks brand.
At around 1:30 a.m., the couple’s friend the Rubber Queen Hinako, who flew in from Tokyo, performed a shibari demonstration to a remix of “Nasty Girl” by Tinashe.
Bobbi’s dad spun vinyls, while Alima Lee, or DJ Lee Lee, continued playing music into the early hours. “It was giving forest rave,” they laugh. “We danced till 3 a.
m. and then sat in this amazing pink velvet heart-shaped chariot in the tent saying goodbye to our guests as they made their way home. Now, looking back, the couple are filled with gratitude, noting that even the cleanup was “fueled by bliss,” according to Bobbi.
Quori agrees: “We did this process as a declarative act that wasn't about utility,” he says. “I wanted all of these disparate parts of our world to be united in this loving context, emphasizing integration, and I think we achieved both those goals. I found the wedding both fabulous and spiritually aligned and I feel very satisfied about that.
I am in awe of how much people put into this—it was a completely new level of being with others in community.”.
