The temperatures were as cold as Vladimir Putin’s heart. Rather than ski and shiver, I decided to head to a place that would be warm and full of folks wearing tight clothing: our local Recreation Center. Since a parking spot would be as rare as tofu at a Trump rally, I decided to avail myself to our town’s awesome free bus service.
We have a wonderful transportation phone app that knows where you live and your most visited destinations and can actually tell you when to leave your house to walk to the nearest bus stop. When I clicked on the app, I received an alert telling me that, “Attention, due to unforeseen circumstances, the bus you require will not be running today. And you forgot to turn off the space heater in your bathroom.
” It was too cold to bicycle, so I fired up the “Biff-Mobile” and headed out. En route, I passed many bus stops. At one stop I saw a young couple waiting for transportation that I knew would not arrive.
Both looked cold and wore inadequate clothing. Hoping to repay a pittance of a karma deficit I’ve acquired from years of being a jerk, I decided to come to the young couple’s rescue. I pulled over, rolled down the passenger window and yelled that their bus would not be coming.
I then added that I would take them to wherever they needed to go. The young man smiled and said, “No English.” That’s when I jumped out of the car, tried to tell them loudly (as if that would bridge the language barrier) there would be no bus, but I would.
