When the Below Deck franchise is at its best, it serves up a cocktail that’s the perfect mix of interpersonal drama among the crew and grueling customer-service workplace drama, with beautiful locations as the garnish. This season has been mostly lacking the difficult guests part of that recipe, and I’m happy to say this episode corrects that. These Dallas socialites definitely aren’t America’s sweethearts .
The primary Mahisha Dellinger is the CEO and founder of a natural hair-care brand and had her own short-lived show about female entrepreneurship on OWN, Mind Your Business With Mahisha . If this charter was an audition for Bravo, I don’t think she’s getting another show or convincing anyone to bring back The Real Housewives of Dallas . Mahisha’s friend’s husband, Mike, is a retired NBA player, so Iain puts together a dinky-looking basketball hoop in anticipation of their arrival.
While he does this, a montage of all the past deck-crew mistakes plays as if haunting him. Gael drives the tender with Joe to pick up the provisions, and she tells us this part of the job is her biggest insecurity. She’s thrilled to gain experience, and I’m thrilled that the provisions include a huge balloon arch for a “fire and ice” party that night.
I’m eager for some slapstick comedy trying to get this thing on the boat. As Aesha and Nathan maneuver it around later, the arch almost gets crushed in the sliding doors, but she saves it with her knee. Say what you will about Aesha, but she puts her body on the line.
She also stays up late cleaning this week — she’s truly dedicated to the job. When the guests arrive, their vibes are worse than Raygun’s breakdancing. They’re unimpressed by the tender, and Iain doesn’t turn on much charm as he takes them to The Mustique.
It seems like Aesha or one of the stews should’ve gone with to make a better first impression. After receiving her specially requested martini, Mahisha’s first order of business is finding a spot for a photo. Aesha suggests using the sun deck or the area by the couches if they want shade.
Mahisha deems the couches an eyesore and has the crew move them out of the way for a photo. Sure, the couches are giving Grandma’s house if it were outdoors, but just take the photo somewhere else! After seeing the picture, I’m surprised they didn’t ask to move the mounted flag, too. Adding to the list of grievances, Mahisha asks Aesha to fetch her martini that’s about three steps away.
Later, when Ellie delivers a vodka soda to the swim platform, Mahisha is disappointed that Ellie didn’t surprise her with one too, not realizing it was ordered. Then, she calls Jono up to criticize the caviar in the hors d’oeuvre; according to her, it tastes like a washcloth. Jono: “Ooh, that’s no bueno.
” He’s so unbothered; I love it. He explains it’s a sourcing issue and agrees to “discontinue” that brand for them. I wonder if they meant the caviar tasted like soap, because I feel like towel is more of a texture than a flavor.
I considered licking a washcloth to see but decided better of it. At dinner, the vodka drink orders continue. The guests love Jono’s food, but Neysla says the utensil situation is off — she thinks she’s missing a knife.
Aesha has to explain that her so-called butter knife is actually a fish knife. Neysla cannot handle being wrong: “Well, your caviar service sucked.” Neysla, thank you for making me cackle.
Aesha doesn’t care if standing up for herself gets her in trouble, and it won’t. Sandy finds the story funny and trusts Aesha’s read of the guests as mean girls. Always remember, friends: Fish knives are pointy at the end, and butter knives are round.
You never know when that knowledge might come in handy. After dinner, the ladies go to the sundeck, but there’s no stew ready at the bar there. Aesha sends Ellie up, and they passive-aggressively order triple vodkas because they think they’ll be up there alone for a while.
Ellie says she’ll check on them every 15 minutes. They can tell she has an attitude in response, and Neysla thinks she shakes her head while leaving. Aesha sends Joe up to hopefully “swoon the pants off them.
” The women see right through it but seem to enjoy his company. In what feels like a callback to the beginning of the season, Jono preps sandwiches for a late-night snack. Unfortunately, Mahisha doesn’t eat sandwiches.
Her husband says he’s never seen her eat a sandwich in 20 years, and it all makes sense now. This woman would be so much happier if she just had a good sandwich. Too bougie for a sandwich my ass.
Does she know about the $214 Serendipity grilled cheese ? Or, one of my favorites, a simple Brie and caramelized onion jam on a baguette? Mahisha asks for berries then falls down the stairs on the way to the bedroom, leaving her husband to wait for the berries and bring them back to her. They must have been good, because she requests more berries at breakfast the next morning. Mike compliments the crew to Sandy, which she takes as an opportunity to tell a story that’s more of a warning.
She once had a guy pay a million euros for a charter, but she threatened to cancel it because they were rude to her staff. Neysla knows she’s being targeted: “I’m over this conversation.” I would love it if Sandy revealed the whole story was a lie.
Joe and Ellie take the guests on an excursion to the Temple of Aphaia ruins, where Joe plays tour guide. He’s done some research on the history, but to my disappointment, it’s another single page of paper (like Aesha’s Acropolis notes). The good news is Mahisha doesn’t care because she’s focused on taking photos.
The guests encourage Ellie and Joe to take one together, and Ellie kisses him on the cheek for it, looking very coupley. This is a wild choice by her, but supposedly she’s been possessed by the goddess of fertility, to whom the temple is dedicated. Ellie jokes that they shouldn’t show it to Bri, who might stab her in her sleep, so she knows exactly what she’s doing.
Nathan and Gael are hilariously stunned when they see the photo. Joe tells them he doesn’t want either stew but “turns into a demon” when he has alcohol. Gael’s worried that Ellie is falling for Joe and Joe is stringing her along.
A quick check-in on Laundrygate 2024: Ellie is only doing rags and towels so Aesha can determine if Bri is up to the job. The only mistake in this episode is that Ellie’s evening dress doesn’t get washed, but Ellie knows it’s not worth tattling on Bri. Bri writes it off as something that happened before the new division of duties anyway.
Because Aesha doesn’t know anything going wrong, she assumes the issues stemmed from things getting confused between the two stews. The guests must not have known they could ask for laundry service, thank God. In a heartbreaking moment, Sandy learns from her fiancée that their dog died.
Aesha comforts the captain, and it’s a sad reminder of how tough being away for work can be. Both of Sandy’s parents died when she was at sea, and this brings up those losses. Thankfully, Sandy’s day won’t get worse, because guests seem to have rediscovered their basic decency post-excursion.
Lunch goes great, and they cheerfully leave a $20,000 tip. Mahisha says she can’t wait to see what happens with “my lovebirds” and that “you know who you are.” Joe is pissed he got called out, but when Sandy asks who they are, both he and Ellie play dumb.
After, Ellie asks him out on a date for that night. He agrees but immediately rethinks it. Joe says he was in shock because he’s never been asked on a date by a girl before.
He has a heart-to-heart with Nathan on a Jet Ski, which would be cute if what he was saying wasn’t such fuckboy behavior. He’s scared to go on the date and wants to call it off. He finds Ellie curling her hair and asks to talk.
Joe doesn’t want any strings attached and is feeling a lot of pressure. We’ll have to wait until next week to see if hell hath no fury like an Ellie scorned. • There are many contenders for Best Prop in this episode, so please indulge me in a quick competition, if only to fill the void left in my life by the Olympics ending.
The props will be scored in two categories, Iconicness and Relevance, for a combined possible 20 points. • The Temple of Aphaia had a solid run but was disqualified for being a location and not a prop. • Sixth place: Birkin Bag.
It made a brief appearance on the tender, where the guests worried about it getting wet. Ultimately it was not relevant. Four points.
• Fifth place: Dry-ice tablescape décor. It looked cool, okay?! Five points. • Fourth place: Basketball hoop.
Seven points. • Bronze: Balloon arch. I had high hopes for this guy, but he didn’t deliver in the back half of the episode.
Eleven points. • Silver: Berries. This team pulled off a huge upset.
You can tell they’re quality because they came in those blue pulpy cartons and not plastic. Twelve points. • Gold: Fish knife.
The favorite to win by far, she didn’t let an early mention of “mother-of-pearl spoons” distract her. She stayed true to herself and brought it home for the silverware, setting a world record with a perfect 20 points. By submitting your email, you agree to our Terms and Privacy Notice and to receive email correspondence from us.
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