'Performance anxiety is usually in your head rather than in your genitals.' Photo posed Q: I have some performance anxiety, and I feel so embarrassed about it. For a good few months now, each time I’ve hooked up with someone, I’ve ended up losing my erection, and it’s been awkward, to say the least.
My partners didn’t say anything, but I can’t help feeling they were judging me or were left disappointed. I think some of it has to do with losing it after putting on a condom, but I don’t want to have sex without one either. It pretty much means the end of any fun with the other person, and I end up making an excuse and leaving early.
I hate feeling like this and didn’t have issues before when I was younger or had girlfriends. It’s kind of killing me to write in but I’m so fed up with feeling like this and don’t want it to continue. I didn’t want to ask my friends as we don’t really talk about this kind of stuff, so I feel like I’m on my own with it.
How do I get past this and get back to enjoying sex again? Dr West replies: I would bet money that your friends have also experienced this at some point. It’s much more common than you think but not talked about openly. Join the Irish Independent WhatsApp channel Stay up to date with all the latest news.
