Q: I’ve been single for a few months now and I’ve very much enjoyed playing the field and dating lots of people. However, one of the girls I have met a couple of times has caught my eye, but I feel torn. I’ve seen her a few times and it’s been great every time, but I want to keep playing the field.
She has more than hinted that she likes me and has said that she isn’t seeing anyone else anymore. I’ve noticed that lately she asks to spend more time together too. I feel like she might be waiting for me to say the same, but I feel unsure.
I feel conflicted that I don’t know if I can tell her I can be exclusive because I don’t feel like I know if I like her enough yet, or if I’m ready in general. I do care about her, but I had planned on being single for a while. I feel guilty as she is genuinely a lovely person.
I don’t want to hurt her or close off anything that might potentially happen down the line either. I don’t want to regret breaking up, but I also don’t want to be an ass to her. Do you think I’d end up regretting breaking up with her now or will I just see what happens? Dr West replies: You do appear to be in a time-sensitive situation, as the longer this situationship develops, the potential for her feelings to deepen and therefore the risk of hurting her increases.
It might be awkward, but you have to take some steps to address this sooner rather than later..
