For about 20 years, my husband and I and our two boys, when they were younger, plus a dog, traveled usually by car to visit my sisters. They never visited us. The drive to their state was 14 hours long and was not fun or cheap, but we did it mostly because of my elderly mother who couldn’t travel (lived with one sister).
I have a fear of flying so we had to drive. After my mother died, both sisters moved to another state together along with their three cats and one dog. They’re still 11 hours away by car.
My husband and I have made the trip about six times to visit them in the last three years, but we recently told them that the drive was not as easy as it used to be since we’re getting older. When we approached them about driving or flying to visit us for a change, they immediately shot down the idea. (“We can’t travel because of the pets!” or “That’s a long drive with pets!”) They refuse to kennel their pets.
Now one sister casually told us that unless we move to their state or drive/fly to visit, we probably won’t see them anymore, but they have an open guest room for us anytime we want to visit. I was stunned and hurt when I heard this ultimatum. I’m trying to see their side of this situation, but all I keep coming up with is that my family and I are way less important to them than their pets.
The best way to see their side is to tell them how you felt when they gave you the ultimatum and ask them to help you understand. Try to put aside the imbalanc.
