Dear Eric: While volunteering at my children’s school another mother asked me, “Why do you wear makeup?” She followed that rude question with, “I think it sends the wrong message.” I was completely flabbergasted and didn’t know how to respond. Somehow, I felt as if she was judging my morality and that my presence was not welcome around the students.
How should I have responded? – Left Holding the Makeup Bag Dear Makeup: When I read your letter, I actually said aloud, “Oh, absolutely not .” So, you have my sympathies and my respect for not causing a scene at the school. You could have asked, in response to her statement that your makeup sends the wrong message, “And what message would that be?” That is, if you wanted to see her contort herself into a pretzel justifying the supposed salaciousness of blush and eyeliner.
Most nosy people can’t really articulate their bad opinions beyond “it’s just what I think.” But sometimes the best response is to let people be loud and wrong and away from you. She was trying to shame you based on her notions about makeup, but you wear makeup for your own reasons.
Maybe you see it as artistic expression. Maybe you want to enhance your beauty. Maybe you just like it.
All reasons are valid. It’s your face. If she doesn’t like it, she can look at something else.
( Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.
O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.
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