Researcher Amy Gahran popularised the term for the mindless momentum that pushes many couples toward marriage. Laura Boyle was engaged at 22 after being with her boyfriend for three years. At 23, they had an archetypal “big, white wedding” with 130 people, a four-layer wedding cake and tons of money spent on the florist.
They were congratulated broadly by their friends and family. Boyle remembers her grandma was excited for her. Just a year later, when she was 24, they were divorced.
Boyle, who lives in Connecticut, now sees fundamental disconnects between what she and her husband were seeking, including whether they imagined children in their future. “It can be very easy to get swept up in the cultural messaging of ‘you will find the one, and it will feel perfect’,” said Boyle, who is now 36. “We force ourselves forward through all the steps without really pausing to consider what it is we and that person actually want out of this relationship.
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