We’ve been editing ourselves at work for centuries. A footman to a king might have flattered a monarch they truly despised. Soldiers in the Second World War would have tried to put on a brave face in the trenches each day.
Now, we have city boys dialling up the banter to fit in and get ahead, and receptionists adopting sunny dispositions. It’s a key part of human nature, says cultural anthropologist Dr Alex Gapud, who references socialist Erving Goffman’s theory that life is theatre, and people are like actors on a stage, each playing a variety of parts. “At work, we play roles,” says Gapud, “whether it’s the role of the boss, or someone that’s client-facing, for example.
” Goffman’s theory refers to a frontstage mentality – when we’re “on stage” we behave a certain way, the clothes we wear can be compared to an actor’s costume, and we speak with particular terms or acronyms, almost like a script. Gapud recalls working in a call centre when he was young and using his “phone voice”, which was an octave higher than his own. “That’s not how I normally am, but I was performing the role of the customer service rep,” he says.
Margaret Thatcher, on the other hand, famously took lessons in the 1970s to lower the pitch of her voice, to make her seem firmer. These are typical frontstage behaviours. Then there’s the backstage version we all have – when we’re behaving more organically with our equals at work, or our peers in usual life.
“There’s a degree of us putting on a mask,” says career coach Alice Stapleton, explaining that other changes might include adjusting our posture or using less slang. “It’s all about curation. It’s about our reputation and doing what we need to do for a promotion, or to be the sort of leader that we think we need to be.
” It goes deeper than just wanting to succeed at work, though. “It’s a need to belong,” says Stapleton. “We’re a species and we want to be part of the tribe.
But sometimes when you zoom out and look at what goes on in offices, you think, ‘Why are all these people playing all these parts, then they go home and they’re completely different people? Wouldn’t it be amazing if we could all just be ourselves and get on with the job?” But these chameleonic tendencies are useful. “The upside is being adaptable,” says Stapleton. “It’s being able to be whatever and whoever you need to be in that circumstance, which will mean that you perhaps get ahead, or are well liked, or you perform well.
Sometimes it can be self-preservation – a coping strategy when you’re having to make quite tough decisions.” If you need to sack somebody, for example, take on an intimidating challenge, or carry out a task that you feel ethically conflicted about, you can tell yourself: “Well, that’s just my work self, that’s not really me.” Gapud says people adopt different selves to “detach” themselves from situations, “for their own sanity”.
“It can get really messy.
