Zoë Kravitz is telling no lies about her family dynamic. The Big Little Lies actress—whose parents Lenny Kravitz and Lisa Bonet separated in 1991—confessed one decision she feels guilty about making after their breakup. While Zoë initially lived with her mom in Santa Monica as her dad toured the world, she chose at age 11 to leave her mom’s “warm” lifestyle in California for the thrill of her dad’s “euphoric” one.

“I think it was very hurtful that I moved away from her to be with my dad,” she told Esquire in an interview published Aug. 15. “And my dad wasn’t even there.

” As Zoë—who is now engaged to Channing Tatum —noted, “I just wish I had been able to appreciate what she was doing for me.” When living together for the first 10 years of Zoë’s life, Lisa tried to make life at home “inviting” by playing music and being present, according to Zoë. But the Cosby Show actress also imposed a strict vegan diet and had more rules than her rockstar ex—a noticeable and attractive difference.

“It was this whirlwind of a completely different universe,” Zoë, 35, shared about spending time with her father as his career began to skyrocket. “And then I would go home to this really quiet, really simple life.” So, after years in California, she moved to Miami, and then New York shortly after, to live full-time with Lenny, but began to notice the stark differences in their parenting styles.

“It wasn’t that my dad didn’t care,�.