If I took a shot every time a man on Bumble claimed to be into “ethically non-monogamy”, I would land up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning (again). Most men I’ve talked to self-righteously claim they practise ethical non-monogamy because one person cannot fulfil all their sexual needs. Usually, they have someone who meets their emotional needs ie.
does the work of being a girlfriend without having any girlfriend privileges (not even the label ‘girlfriend’). Some of my friends have been informed that while they’re hot, they’re not smart enough to meet a man’s intellectual needs so he will be seeing other people, thank you very much. The polyamorous f*ckboy is (usually) a heterosexual man who latches onto the idea of polyamory without fully understanding what it means.
By doing so, he appears progressive and liberal, using therapy-speak to evade accountability for bad behaviour. To him, ethical non-monogamy means sleeping around without clearly labelling any relationship, coercing people into being okay with non-monogamy without actually checking in with them and disregarding the work that actually goes into healthy non-monogamous relationships. For far too long, monogamy has been the norm.
Growing up as a Gen Zer, the idea of it was reinforced in every Hollywood and Bollywood rom-com I watched. When I first heard of polyamory, I was stunned. If only these movie characters knew about polyamory! So many of their issues would be resolved! Wouldn’t Edward, J.