W hatever sort of summer you’ve had in recent years – Brat, Hot Girl or, in my case, Knackered Dad – chances are it was because TikTok told you to. Long gone are the days when some sadistic breakfast show DJ might force a “Saturday Night”, “Agadoo” or “Gangnam Style” upon the country’s Balearic holidaymakers. When conniving tiki bar managers might make a “Shape of You” or “Despacito” globally ubiquitous from May to September.
Or when Twitter/X shares might make peak season stars of Bruno Mars, Pharrell Williams or Robin Thicke. Today’s big summer songs are instead decided by a six-second clip, a trend-friendly lyrical snippet and its suitability for showing off one’s lunch, handbag, dance move, or buttock fillers. This week TikTok released its list of the biggest summer hits on the platform and it made for revealing reading, as much for what wasn’t included as what was.
There’s been lots of talk of 2024 being a Brat summer , despite nobody really being able to define the vaguely rebellious rules: mine, I was told, began when I intentionally topped up the dregs of one pint with a half of a completely different brand lager, an action which, by total chance, also brought sexy back. Yet Charli XCX , whose Brat album mothered the idea, was nowhere to be found on the chart. Neither was Taylor Swift , despite her record-shattering Eras tour filling every tube carriage I’ve been on since June with sequins and friendship bracelets.
Nu-Taylor Sabri.