Tyree: Are you ready for the Summer Olympics?

Just because there are trained professionals dealing with the infrastructure, logistics and marketing of the Summer Olympics, it doesn’t let the rest of us off the hook. To fulfill our obligations as world citizens, instead of just blundering into nearly three weeks of pageantry and athleticism, we should apply critical thinking to the whole phenomenon. But you’re probably way ahead of me.

You’ve doubtless pondered why we don’t have Spring and Autumn Olympics. I can just imagine the former anchored by Synchronized Finally Taking the %#$@ Christmas Lights Down and the latter prominently featuring Greco-Roman Projectile Vomiting Because of Bio-engineered Pumpkin Spice Cattle Flatulence. And let’s consider all the Olympics viewers who bellyached about their curriculum all through school.

(“When will I ever use this so-called knowledge in the real world?”) Suddenly, when a TV network beckons, they dive headfirst into a crash course on all the intricacies of an obscure sport that will not rise to their consciousness again for another four years. Unless their niece develops an unplanned pregnancy. (“Come on! Think! What was it the rugby sevens coach said about tracking down a deadbeat dad and garnishing his wages???”) Olympic athletes are generally regarded as inspirational figures, but the Olympic-industrial complex actually perpetrates an insidious scheme for discouraging future competitors.

While the athletes are pushing their bodies to the fullest potential, t.