Roxanne Hall ( Halle Berry ) is a globetrotting superspy who executes intricate missions without breaking a sweat. Need to kidnap a billionaire crime lord from a heavily guarded hotel room without disturbing the other guests? She’s your woman. Is the world order as we know it threatening to collapse due to an unprecedented intelligence leak? She’s the one you call.
So when Roxanne is faced with the most important mission of her career, it’s somewhat surprising that she decides to bring in extra help. What’s even more surprising is that her preferred phone-a-friend is her old boyfriend, who has never left his hometown or shown the slightest bit of interest in (or talent for) fighting crime. When we first meet Mike McKenna ( Mark Wahlberg who, one imagines, must get first dibs on every script about a construction worker who’s called to save the world), he’s waking up after a one-night-stand with his 7th grade English teacher.
For those curious, it’s revealed they had sex “one and a half times.” When she kicks him out of bed, he goes about his day in the exact same way he has for the past 30 years. He heads to the construction site, laughs with his blue collar buddies while donning his hard hat and neon vest, lifts heavy metal beams, eats lunch on top of a work-in-progress skyscraper, and then blows off steam shooting pool at a local dive bar.
The montage is confusingly set to Bruce Springsteen’s “The Promised Land” — a certified banger, but one whose l.